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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

New Relationship Orgasm

66 replies

Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 18:57

Shame on me I've faked all orgasms in past relationships, once you start it's hard to do a U turn. In new relationship now, don't wanna go down that path again. But we've had sex several times and not cum... how do you start? Or does everyone put up with orgasmless sex? Am I a prude? lool?

OP posts:

Report

Fugghetaboutit · 30/06/2015 19:04

Show him what makes you orgasm? Is there enough foreplay?

Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 19:20

OMG I think I actually am a prude! I'd be so embarrassed! What if it puts him off, being too forward!

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 30/06/2015 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sickoffrozen · 30/06/2015 19:22

Have you ever had an orgasm?

Showing him won't put him off!!! More likely to turn him on!

PushingThru · 30/06/2015 19:32

Can you come when you masturbate?

Fugghetaboutit · 30/06/2015 19:37

You have to show him or you might just end up sorting yourself out as he'll never know he's not getting it right!

gamerchick · 30/06/2015 19:42

If you can have sex with someone you should be able to talk about it.

It isn't really that common to orgasm during sex. Some woman do and lucky them but it's not the end of the world if you don't.

If you can bring yourself off then you can point the way or you can tell him you've never had an orgasm and would like one.

Exploring your own body can help.

Don't fake it though.. Life is too short for crap sex.

Vivacia · 30/06/2015 19:55

I've faked all orgasms in past relationships, once you start it's hard to do a U turn.

I thought that was just me blush. I did what you're suggesting and promised myself, no more faking it when I got with the next boyfriend. It was the right decision.

chelle792 · 30/06/2015 20:01

Buy a palmpower. Best invention in the world and your fella will love it!

Joysmum · 30/06/2015 20:59

If you can't show/guilde him, how can you expect him to know?

If you can't give yourself one, how can you direct somebody else to?

ALaughAMinute · 30/06/2015 21:46

You should expect an orgasm. If he has one then why shouldn't you? Show him how it's done and he will love it, I promise you. It you don't know how to do it then Google it and find out. Easy.

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 30/06/2015 21:49

Don't fake orgasms or you're never going to have one. As your dp will think he is doing things right.
I don't orgasm every time, but I never fake though. What's the point.
Is it to make him feel good. Is it to lie to yourself. Is it because you feel inferior not orgasming. No women is any less because she can't orgasm.
Can you "get there"during mSterbation.

Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 21:57

Thanks for the replies, Vivacia, glad it's not just me! Take it you succeeded with this relationship. Palmpower? I'll have to google that. Yes Fugghetaboutit, that's exactly what's happened in all other relationships....yes I can make myself cum but no guy has ever! So do I just pull the vibrator out next time we're getting it on? Won't it make him feel inadequate, if a guy pulled a sex toy out for him in the middle of us doing it, I would think WTF am I doing wrong?

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Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 22:02

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl Exactly my point, because I've faked before they all thought they were doing it right then I couldn't suddenly say actually this is what you need to do! And yes maybe it's coz I felt inferior coz I imagine it would take ages of them trying then giving up!!! As I'm writing this I actually think I have some problems, mentally to do with sex?!

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Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 30/06/2015 22:12

I know it seems like. You're the only women in the whole world who is not having orgasms but believe me. That is not the case. Oh yes it's very easy. Very eAsy indeed for women to say. My dp/DH makes me cum 10 times a night. But you're not in the bed room with them.

Ikeameatballs · 30/06/2015 22:16

I have almost always needed to masturbate/clit stimulation at the same time as having penetrative sex. Rarely I've orgasmed in sex without this. No man has ever found this a problem!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 30/06/2015 22:16

I've never faked orgasms. I couldn't be arsed to do that. And no I don't put up with orgasmless sex. I make them work at it til they get it right :)

ALaughAMinute · 30/06/2015 22:18

I wouldn't get any toys or vibrators out unless you've discussed it and he is in agreement with it. As you say, it could put him off or intimidate him. Far better to show him how to do it with your hands.

It's worth training him as it could prevent problems in the future. Best to get it out the way now, I say!

Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 22:24

JohnFarleysRuskin hahaha!!
So should I just start clit stimulating myself whilst he's fucking me? It seems like such a private thing to me? oh god I'm so prudish! I never realised before!

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SexNamesRFab · 30/06/2015 22:28

You should come and join us on the new sex board, things are getting really fun over there.

What kind of orgasms do you have on your own/are you hoping for? Internal/vaginal - hence the vibrator? If so, do you need to get him into the right position in order for you to come? Or external/clitoral - in which case it's a lot easier to show him what to do, if you can get over your blushes.

Or am I the only one who has 2 different types? Gid I hope this NC works..,

SexNamesRFab · 30/06/2015 22:31

Cross post - yes, definitely sit on top and start clit stimulating yourself. Very normal sexual activity, most guys would be massively turned on by it

Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 22:33

Always clitoral stimulation.... but I'd love to have one through penetrative sex. I'll look for the sex board, I couldn't find one before.

OP posts:

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Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 22:34

cross post again!

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Outnumbrd · 30/06/2015 22:45

Where's the sex board?

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ALaughAMinute · 30/06/2015 22:53

People often talk about other boards on here but I can never find them. I only ever post in relationships.

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