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Husband had blocked me off Facebook, how would you react??

(85 Posts)
Louisa111 Tue 30-Jun-15 07:51:05

Quite blatantly told me to my face too? I've had a few concerns dating back to last year, every time I would tag him in a status he wouldn't accept it on his wall, wouldn't have any pics up of me and him recently and every time I asked he would deny it or kick off.
Then yesterday I actually got a notification to say he had removed something I tagged him in, I just asked why?? He flew off the handle, denied doing it and said that's it I'm blocking you, which I'm sure he's loved to do for a while.
Understandably I'm upset, I can't speak to him. Not just because he did that but the way he spoke to me, add that to the fact in the last he's lied to me about a few things so understanbly I'm a bit in secure about if I can trust him!!
Why would you do that?? Had he something to hide?? I know Facebook causes all sorts of problems but when we first joined we had same passwords and nothing was secret....now, not so
Would you be upset too??

FenellaFellorick Tue 30-Jun-15 07:55:02

I would wonder why he seemingly wanted to erase me from his fb, yes.

What are the other suspicions you are talking about.?

TheStoic Tue 30-Jun-15 07:56:35

He wants to appear 'not married', and he doesn't want you seeing what he's doing online. Yes, I would be unhappy about that.

Titsalinabumsquash Tue 30-Jun-15 07:57:08

I would assume he didn't want someone to know he has a wife.sad

RinkRashDerbyKisses Tue 30-Jun-15 07:58:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniebear71 Tue 30-Jun-15 08:03:08

I would think it very strange.

Meerka Tue 30-Jun-15 08:07:49

When I thought about this, I came to the conclusion that actually he didn't want me having anything to do with a big part of his life and that therefore there was a giant hole in the marriage. The lies would confirm it.

it's not normal in a loving relationship to react the way he has.

I'm sorry but I couldn't trust him any more and I'd be slowly coming ot terms with the fact that he isn't the man I thought he was and that he doesn't want me in his life all that much. Other than clean shirts and food.

Pagwatch Tue 30-Jun-15 08:11:44

I agree with all the previous posters - especially given his aggressive and rude responses when you raised it.

The only other scenario I can think of is if you are embarrassing on FB.
It's not an excuse of course but as the alternative is that he is trying to pretend his is unmarried for dodgy purposes, it might be worth considering?

Pancakeflipper Tue 30-Jun-15 08:15:25

I don't do FB so I am not sure of the ins and outs of it but I would think he didn't want others to know he is married, either out there to attract or he's having an affair.

Sounds like he used your question about 'tagging' as an excuse to remove you.

Hope you are ok.

Louisa111 Tue 30-Jun-15 08:19:08

I'm not embarrassing in Facebook, the most I would do is take a pic of our daughter or me and her and tag him too, certainly wouldn't just tag him for the sake of it.
The concerns I had last year was I though he was having an affair or an emotionl one, she's in his Facebook surprise surprise!! She knows about me tho so can't see what he would want to hide?? Unless her or someone else is being lead to believe that we are not really together?? So me posting happy status or check-ins where we've been doesn't fit in with what he's saying??
My heads all over the place, I don't know what to so?? Other than I just can't bear myself to speak to him, I can't even look At him tbh

SoupDragon Tue 30-Jun-15 08:21:02

I never accept "tags" on my wall.

SoupDragon Tue 30-Jun-15 08:21:47

(he sounds unnecessarily defensive about his FB though)

BathtimeFunkster Tue 30-Jun-15 08:22:53

She knows about me tho so can't see what he would want to hide?? Unless her or someone else is being lead to believe that we are not really together?? So me posting happy status or check-ins where we've been doesn't fit in with what he's saying??

How about asking him to move out for a bit, since your marriage is clearly on the rocks?

DevaDiva Tue 30-Jun-15 08:24:00

I'd be pissed off. This is a massive indicator that he's doing something that would upset you.

Louisa111 Tue 30-Jun-15 08:30:58

Do you know what?? He alway turning the tables on me, saying I'm accusing, paranoid etc, I'm not gonna tell him to move out in case that what he want and makes me out to be the bad guy , silly I know but he can be the loveliest person, we had a great Sunday together then yesterday before I got the notification he said something that pushed my buttons, I reacted then got told... ' I hate coming home to your miserable face every day' I don't know where it came from. Then I confronted the fb thing. I know writing this he sounds like a complete arse!!

Wherediditallgoright Tue 30-Jun-15 08:38:23

Some men like to give the impression they are single when they are not. I think he is completely out of order.

SpringTown46 Tue 30-Jun-15 08:44:45

Whatever he is up to, he is not treating you with honour, respect, or love. I'd be inclined to take a big step back and get my ducks in a row; re-focus on yourself as priority.

AreYouThinkingWhatImThinking Tue 30-Jun-15 08:53:31

Why don't you suggest that, as Facebook is causing such a significant problem in your marriage, you both close your Facebook accounts and concentrate on making your marriage work?

Facebook is just meant to be a bit of fun to keep in touch with friemds, and share common interests etc. My OH rarely tags me in Facebook or comments on my posts and responds to my tagging him. But i know he just likes Facebook for silly funny videos, and daft memes. But I like it to get involved in groups that share my interests. I don't get hurt by his lack of interest in me on Facebook because we both just use it for different things and I don't bother tagging him anymore.

But it's not absolutely necessary to be on Facebook, especially when it's damaging your relationship. If it was causing rows I'd be suggesting we didn't bother with it at all.

Joysmum Tue 30-Jun-15 08:56:33

I'm not gonna tell him to move out in case that what he want and makes me out to be the bad guy , silly I know but he can be the loveliest person

I personally couldn't give a shit what others thought, I deserve to be treated in a reasonable way and if I'm not I raise it.

So he's the occasional Mr nice guy, but he's not on a day to day basis. That's a basic standard surely?

ImperialBlether Tue 30-Jun-15 09:08:56

Sometimes when you write it down it all becomes clear, doesn't it?

He treats you badly, he's blocked you from Facebook, he's got someone on Facebook that he had an affair with. Think about it.

Louisa111 Tue 30-Jun-15 09:12:25

I guess, no proof of affair just my suspicion tho

Horsemad Tue 30-Jun-15 09:12:29

OP, he does sound like a complete arse, get rid!

Threefishys Tue 30-Jun-15 09:13:52

Facebook is the work of the devil it causes so much angst. Me and my ex were forever blocking and unblocking each other it was ridiculous. It's the equivalent of following someone around all day and that's not healthy for any significant relationship. If it was me I would honestly not waste a minute thinking about it and would concentrate on whether I am overthinking stuff and being insecure of if there is actual reason to worry /stuff that needs to be worked on.

FenellaFellorick Tue 30-Jun-15 09:14:11

Someone sometimes not being an arse is not them being lovely. A lovely person isn't an arse at all.

The thing about horrible people is that it is easy to say bugger off if they are awful all the time. It's those times when they are not awful that makes some people cling on to hope. Well, they were horrible to me all week, said dreadful things to me, blocked me on fb, called me names, said I'm miserable and he hates being with me and yelled at me but oh, he's sometimes nice because he took a break from being horrible and we went for a walk and he smiled at me and it was lovely.

Well, tbh, if you are tied to a chair and someone is hitting you over the head with a plank of wood, when they stop for 10 minutes because their arm is hurting, I'm sure that feels lovely too.

Threefishys Tue 30-Jun-15 09:17:27

Can I say it sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other from where I'm standing, sorry.

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