I have a brother who is seriously worrying me.
He's 26, lives with my mum, has a wife and a 9 month old son.
She's 25, they got together 3 years ago. Relationship has always been turbulent to say the least. There's no other term I can use other than they're both "ghetto" "street" all that lifestyle of drinking, selling drugs(him), raves, cheating (him) etc.. Think of your typical guy on the streets in London and that's my brother.
He's been off the rails from around the age of 17, dropped out of college and has been in prison for fighting numerous of times.
She on the other has been to Uni and was a dental nurse, somehow she let him bring her down to his level and, although my mother and I warned her to stay away from him, she fell pregnant and they got married shortly after.
We're Muslim so we pretty much had to get them married to respect the girl.
Fast forward to now, numerous incidents of him claiming she's outside clubbing/meeting men/drinking etc.. So he goes to her mums house intoxicated threatening to kill her and break the door down.
He's trashed my mums house, slapped both my mum and me in front of my kids ( I stay overnight on the weekends as I work weekday evening and one weekend, mum is my child care). We kicked him out following this incident as my dd1 (4) witnessed it.
There's been another incident today, I can't deal with this anymore. My mums in bits, we all work aside from him, my dad is useless because he over indulges him ( think he has his own issues as his mum died when he was born and he was brought to England to study abroad in the 70s so he felt abandoned and he endured racism) .
He promised to change so my mum let him back in after he cried his eyes out.
I should add that my SIL has a form for winding him up, I am with another guy, I'm out what you going to do? That type of stupidness... I've told her several times to not answer his calls, cut contact, get a divorce, call the police because antagonising him will escalate things.
He was helping her move her stuff in her new flat the other day. So she's clearly not following my advice.
What can we do as a family? We've suggested sending him back home but we're from a place where there's lot of extremism so my mum fears for him, besides he doesn't speak anything other than English, has never been back home and hasn't got a clue about the culture.
Any programmes? Rehab?
Thank you for reading.
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What help is out there for abusive men?
34 replies
HelpmehelpBro · 28/06/2015 09:03
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