Long story for a basic question:
Met at uni, bought a house together to rent to other students (using parental money, it was parent investment), fell out in 3rd year, sold house through lawyers, mutual friends got us in touch again 4 years later. Friends again, holidayed together while both single. She lived in London, I used to travel a lot with work so saw her often when flying out of Heathrow. She rarely visited me (but then she didn't feel that she needed to because I was always in London). I changed jobs, so no longer in London very often, she visited me even more rarely than before (like twice in 4 years). She'd drive past where I lived to visit other friends, or even parents of other friends, yet not drop in. Claimed I was her 'best friend', 'a radiator, not a drain like the others', yet clearly not the case!
Was just about to fade her when her boyfriend proposed and she asked me to be bridesmaid. Impossible to turn down, and her mum was disabled, so no one to help her organise stuff. I ended up doing a LOT for her wedding, and being bridesmaid. She was awful bridezilla, and ultimately the wedding issues ended our friendship. She had a baby and became even more crap at being an actual 'friend', so the fade happened quite naturally.
I've not seen her since 2008, nor contacted her in any way since then. She however still texts me on my birthday, sends me emails about how much she misses me, comments in Facebook messages about my profile photos (I've now blocked her), and is generally a bit 'not getting the message' about our 'friendship'. Apart from these messages etc, I don't miss her or think about her. I've just got one tonight... a huge waffle about what an amazing person I am. Since I last saw her I've changed careers, moved house/cities, met my partner, had a baby... she's got no idea whether I'm amazing or not! I can't imagine being 'friends' with her anymore, it's too weird.
Would you actually SAY something in response, or just let her carry on until it stops?
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Relationships
A friendship issue
ohthegoats · 26/06/2015 23:19
Just let her carry one until the penny drops. I phased out a friend I'd had since we were 5 years old because she did nothing for me. Tbh she just began grating on me. Every now and then she'd pop up and try to reconnect but I just couldn't with her; its like we'd outgrown each which sounds like what kind of happened to you OP. Just keep your distance 
Yes, phasing out is horrible. Someone did it to me. I used to feel really confused and hurt. Now I feel annoyed. I was upset for about 3 years! Then I became irritated and finished the process of by de-friending on FB, not sending Xmas cards and not sending birthday greeting/presents to her and her girls. I finally feel like I'm getting over it. Disclaimer : I have other good friends and a busy life 
This post has made me realise...I think a friend is tying to phase me out.
OP, you would probably find that your friend doesn't mind atall. The reason she tries to keep on the friendship is because she feels guilty for not seeing you.
My situation (although I'm on the other side) is that I had a "best friend" I made at an old workplace 10 years ago. Our lives were similar at the time, we used to tell eachother our problems and were a great support to eachother. We used to go on nights out together, we also have kids a similar age, so used to mix with them out of work.
Over the years our lives changed, we stopped working together, and we haven't seen eachother as much - infact I have a 9 month old baby that she has never seen. We never call or text eachother, but if we bump into eachother we will always say we will meet up soon or ring eachother. It never happens.
I feel guilty that I haven't seen her as we were so close once upon a time - and now and again I will write a reply on her facebook status or photos - which she never likes or answers to.
Your post has made me see that she is phasing me out - and I can actually stop feeling guilty that I haven't seen her. Friendship is a two sided thing, and I guess we have both had enough. We served a purpose to eachother for a time - and don't really have anything in common anymore.
I don't feel hurt - it's more relief that it's two sided.
You will probably find your friend feels the same .
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