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Cotton is divorced

(54 Posts)
handfulofcottonbuds Fri 26-Jun-15 19:52:37

I thought I would cry.

I thought I would feel empty.

I thought I would feel broken.

I thought I would feel a failure.

I don't feel happy.

I don't feel sad.

I don't feel excited.

I don't feel numb.

I feel nothing - at the moment.

My initial thoughts were why the hell didn't I get some official red seal on my Absolute?! Just a photocopy of the judge's agreement to dissolve my marriage.

Thank you to every one of you who has supported me through the past 18 months. It was invaluable.


Namechanger2015 Fri 26-Jun-15 19:54:25

Well done Cotton. I guess it will take some time to sink in?

At least it's over and you can move on. X

Snoozybird Fri 26-Jun-15 20:24:58

Congratulations Cotton, it's great to be officially free.

WellWhoKnew Fri 26-Jun-15 20:30:42

Well done Cotton. To my mind the paperwork is a certificate of survival. It is, without doubt, the most brutal thing I've experienced in my life - and something I was terrified of. It's not so bad being divorced and it's a helluva lot better than being married to a twat.

I followed you on MN quietly, then followed you in real life (in terms of discovering my marriage was also a pile of crock - NOT that I'm some proper stalker person - too lazy!).

There'll be a few weeks reflection, and most of us remark on having a sudden and dramatic low period just after. I'm telling you this, just so you don't feel bad if it happens to you. It's perfectly normal. You come back up again.

You've done so well. I hope you feel proud of yourself (meant in the kindest way, not a sardonic one!!). And thank you for supporting others through their hell. You've a lot to offer the world. Good luck.

Inexperiencedchick Fri 26-Jun-15 20:31:58


Whatever you will feel further down the road just remember you are a great and very strong woman.

Peace to you

CantAffordtoLive Fri 26-Jun-15 20:38:25

I'm a name changer but I've lurked.

As someone well into that light at the end of the tunnel I can only confirm that things get better and better.


Cabrinha Fri 26-Jun-15 20:45:14

Sometimes you go on feeling nothing, because the hardest work is done.
Congratulations though!

MrSlant Fri 26-Jun-15 20:47:52

Congratulations, I too will be in that place in the next week or two, I am terrified of how I will feel. Good luck to all of us thanks

DinnaeKnowShitFromClay Fri 26-Jun-15 20:49:49

flowers for you. lays down the pom poms

redundantandbitter Fri 26-Jun-15 20:50:32

Well done you. Out of the darkness and into the beautiful sunshine. Go bloom ! (Really need to stop watching Gardners World)

Here a wine

handfulofcottonbuds Fri 26-Jun-15 21:08:18

Thank you all so much for your lovely words! They mean so much to me.

You're right, maybe I feel nothing because the hard work has been done.

You have no idea how much you have all helped me.

iwashappy Fri 26-Jun-15 21:16:06

Pleased there's light at the end of the tunnel for you Cotton I hope you get all the happiness you deserve flowers

goddessofsmallthings Fri 26-Jun-15 21:26:14

The Absolute end of a hellish marriage should be delivered by horse and and carriage to a fanfare of trumpets and presented nestling in a red box by a page dressed in a gold brocade black braided uniform.

As it is you've been sent a poor photocopy, but you can colour in the seal before framing and hanging it in the smallest room in the house grin

wine Here's to your infinitely more rewarding new life.

handfulofcottonbuds Fri 26-Jun-15 22:09:45

goddess - your post is legendary smile

R&B - where have you been? How are you?

Dinnae - I will never forget the pom poms of my cheerleaders!

Cabrina - you have made me realise why I feel nothing, thank you, you are right smile

wellwhoknew - what a beautiful post, thank you flowers

mrslant - I wish you all the best and hope you feel freedom in a positive and happy way x

chick - so kind of you to say thank you x

iwashappy - you know what, I think I will smile

Such wonderful people on here! I'm so glad I made it through the dark.

itwillgetbettersoon Fri 26-Jun-15 22:21:35

Well done. You are a very strong and dignified woman. Pom poms and ra ra skirts rule. Have followed you from the start and you have been so brave. Onwards and upwards.

handfulofcottonbuds Fri 26-Jun-15 22:37:55

I know you have itwill and I appreciate all the support flowers

Oh and I sold my house this week too! I'm very tired wink

redundantandbitter Fri 26-Jun-15 22:40:25

I lurk... Pom poms at the ready.

You sold the house?? Whoop. So what happens now? Is your lovely cotton bud holding DS moving with you? Exciting times ahead.

FrancesNiadova Fri 26-Jun-15 22:46:21

COTTON, you have used up your physical & emotional energy getting to where you are now; I'm not surprised that you feel flat.
You will need time now to come to terms with everything that's happened & re-charge your batteries. I think that this is quite normal.
Once you've got your energy back & you know who the new you is going to be, you can go out & embrace your new life wholeheartedly.
Just be kind to yourself & award yourself this time to regroup.
Wishing you all the best for the future.

handfulofcottonbuds Fri 26-Jun-15 22:59:36

Yes R&B it's been a busy week! Now I find somewhere to live and continue living my life. Yes, my crazy (not so little) cotton bud holder DS will be with me smile

Frances - unfortunately the re-charging will have to wait until I find a new home to make my own. It's much more positive than it has been though, thank you for your good wishes flowers

Handywoman Fri 26-Jun-15 23:16:19

Good on you Cotton

That will be me in the not too distant...

You were one awesome lady yesterday and you remain one today.

Here's to the rest of your life flowers

HelenaDove Fri 26-Jun-15 23:37:18

wine thanks to you Cotton. Heres to the rest of your life without the dickhead in it.

skyeskyeskye Sat 27-Jun-15 00:55:32

Congratulations cotton. You have come so far since your first posts. You are much stronger now.

I remember receiving my absolute and it is a strange feeling. But it's the end of that chapter and the start of a new one.

Good luck with your new house

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 28-Jun-15 21:02:43

So, why can I not stop crying tonight?

Haven't cried for months sad

worserevived Sun 28-Jun-15 21:26:04

Because it's the end of a chapter in your life, and it is natural to grieve over what happened, but

it is the beginning of a new better chapter as well smile

goddessofsmallthings Sun 28-Jun-15 21:26:26

Because it's the end of one of the many chapters that comprise the book of your life and because you were emotionally invested in the characters - one of whom was, of course, yourself as you were then with all of the hopes and dreams you cherished at that time.

But you're older and wiser now and have embarked on the next chapter... this one too may end in tears as our rites of passage can tax us to the limit, but endings don't have to be unhappy if we use them to learn and grow and see them as being part of a storehouse of wisdom we can draw on as we continue to experience life's many joys as well as its sorrows .

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