Feeling so sorry for myself today, don't feel womanly anymore! Please let me moan!!

[sweetpud]

I'm not too sure if i'm posting in the right place but I just need a good winge, moan, and maybe get the offer of some hugs please!
I know there are so many people worse off than me but I can't help how i'm feeling right now.

I'm in my late 40's, don't feel at all attractive anymore, am a greedy pig who eats far too much and needs to lose at least 4 stone, hate seeing photo's of myself, and ban my friends/family from putting any pics of me on FB.

My spine is in a bad way, something I have to live with now after it was recently diagnosed, and it can restrict me in my daily activity, but I've always got painkillers on standby, which I hate having to rely on, though I don't take them that often.

I've got the most horrible legs that you have ever seen, they have always been fat, and I've got some kind of odema which means they are always prone to swelling and are very tender most of the time. That's without the horrid varicose veins which snake all over my legs.

I don't feel womanly anymore, my face is fat and I have jowls, along with a huge double chin, with lots of broken veins across my nose and cheeks which just depress me whenever I look in the mirror. I just plaster the makeup on whenever I go out!
I keep thinking about diets but it just depresses me about having to change and cut down, I do have a large meals most of the time and love sugar also.

I lost a lot of weight many years ago and was left with so much loose skin that I had to cover up my body more than when I was fat, the NHS refused me surgery as it was classed as cosmetic! So eventually the fat/weight went back on, though I have never got back to where it was to start with and my clothing size is still 4 sizes smaller than I was back then.

I just feel so down right now, I can't lift my mood at all. I don't feel loved or fancied anymore, even though my DH says he loves me.

I'm sorry but woe is me :-(

[Becauseicannes]

Cut the sugar out. STart small by refusing pudding and increase your refusal day by day. You will feel
Much better. Are you able to save for the surgery yourself, even if it's just a little per week? As it sounds like not having it took away your drive about losing weight.