I have just found out my dh has been having sexting affair with an old 'freind' from college, on and off for the last 2 yrs. We have been together for 13 yrs, married for 8 yrs. We have a 5 yo DD. I am so shocked and feel sick, I wouldn't have believed he would ever do this, I have always felt so secure in our relationship. It hasn't been without problems but I have always trusted him completely. Some instinct led me to check his text messages on our shared iPad (haven't snooped on him before), there were explicit pictures from her, back and fourth texts, the content you can imagine. They also said 'I love you'. I told him I knew straight away and he confessed, told me he was sorry, deeply ashamed, had tried to stop it and they had stopped for about a year and then it started again, they have been in contact recently. She lives far from us but he told me they have met up a couple of times when she was in our city, with the intention of making it physical but neither of them wanted to, he said they felt complete shame and talked about their families. I called her, desperate to understand what this means and if he's telling the truth. She said she was very sorry and ashamed and that it didn't mean anything, that's she's had a very hard time over the last few years and thought she was having a mid life crisis. Her story matched exactly what dh said. I feel lost and devastated I know I love him but am so disappointed in him. He says he loves me and wants to work this out. He's booked a marriage counsellor for us to see and I do feel this could help at least how to move forward in some way. He is going to stay with a freind tonight, we've told our dd he's got to go away for work. To add our sex life hasn't been brilliant since having dd, doesn't help that dd co sleeps with us, something I have pushed to resolve but weirdly dh has said that its fine and she'll grow out of wanting to co-sleep. Though I haven't really enjoyed sex with him often since having DD, it's been sparse, peppered with the odd good time (count on one hand). I put this down to dd co- sleeping and it being fairly normal as have being with him for a long time. Help! What do I make of this, I love him and am devastated by the idea of us splitting and my DD also being devastated, she adores her dad.
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