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when you lose everything and they dont?

(52 Posts)
brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 18:39:14

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honeyroar Fri 19-Jun-15 18:50:45

Yes. Me. It's a cliche but it's a matter of time. Some people take longer to get over this than others. It's not fair, but it's how it is. My ex moved on very quickly. He married someone else within a year. He had two adorable children. I was stuck where I was licking my wounds for nearly two years. Finally I got over it, moved on with my life (got a horse in my case) and got out having fun. I met my now husband and am very happy.

It may seem as though life is easy for your ex, but everyone had their ups and downs in life. We just don't always know. Concentrate on yourself and getting back on your feet. I had counselling, that helped. I think that some people have a narrower range of emotions, they don't love as passionately and they don't get hurt as much.

Momagain1 Fri 19-Jun-15 18:50:57

I am sorry you are in this situation. Of course you don't deserve it!

Do you have DC?

Isetan Fri 19-Jun-15 18:59:39

If both of your Ex's behaved horribly, surely they had less 'recovering' to do. Anyway some people especially dicks, move on quickly because they need to, in that a vacancy has to be filled for a new target for their shit.

Focus on you, they don't count.

brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 19:08:51

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AnyFucker Fri 19-Jun-15 19:29:58

What did you lose ?

A cheater and a fuckwit

no loss, IMHO

goddessofsmallthings Fri 19-Jun-15 19:30:27

Although in comparison with that of many others I have reason to believe that my life to date has been charmed, no matter how wonderful or easy it may appear to outsiders, no-one's life is perfect all of the time and none of us what the future may hold.

Childless and no job to tie you in one place? Have you considered spending the summer travelling or, depending on funds, working in another country/part of the UK for a few months as it may be just the pick you up you need to get your engine firing on all cylinders again.

wheelycote Fri 19-Jun-15 19:35:47

Ditto about the taking time thing. Be patient....when a friend told me to be patient I wanted to throttle her and thought she had no idea. But it's true....Be patient, it takes frustrating time.

One day you'll notice that things are more steady and falling into place. Whilst your ex's are onto their third wives wondering why they've started with nothing again. Trust me

brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 19:49:10

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brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 19:56:24

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MiniTheMinx Fri 19-Jun-15 19:57:28

Don't they say things happen in threes. So you have lost three things, only one of which may have been worth keeping. I would bury myself in job searches and forget these silly men, neither of whom deserved you.

brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 20:03:28

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PeekABooPinky101 Fri 19-Jun-15 20:20:25

They may seem to be moving on. But firstly, rarely are cheats and liars as happy as they seem. They just lie more to make it seem ok.
Secondly they are still them. They haven't changed and are unlikely to.
Karma is sweet, it will one day make it all clear.

Hold on, and love you for a while. Things will all fall into place.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 19-Jun-15 20:21:26

If you are foolish enough to temporarily (given his track record, any reconciliation won't last long will it?) get back with the serial cheater, you'll merely be prolonging a cycle of bad luck or negative energies that is now at an end.

As Mini says, put relationships with the opposite sex on hold while you busy yourself in job searches - and give some thought to getting temporary work in another field or in another town/country.

MiniTheMinx Fri 19-Jun-15 20:40:30

Oh Broken, what do you want with a serial cheater, you can do better, and you will. Yes he will probably get dumped and yes he will probably ring or text on the off chance, but if he is as you say, he will chance his luck with one or two and see which women bites, don't let that be you.

So, what are your plans job wise? Is it possible to temp for a while? Or retrain for something else? What about finding some part time volunteering or join a club to meet others, maybe a cheap activity like walking or a reading group. Don't let yourself get isolated, its easy to do when not working.

brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 20:47:43

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goddessofsmallthings Fri 19-Jun-15 20:53:55

There's more chance of pigs flying than that happening and I feel sorry for any woman foolish enough to get in over her head with a screwed up tosser player such as him.

brokenhearted55a Fri 19-Jun-15 21:17:34

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PeekABooPinky101 Fri 19-Jun-15 22:27:00

They aren't, broken. They don't know what being real for anyone is. They have and will create things but that's not real.

Take it from someone, and probably a lot replying to this, who has been there. Things do get better, and you will find things you never even thought about.

Only ever be grateful they have taught you that you deserve better. They ant worth anything else thanks

Momagain1 Fri 19-Jun-15 23:05:34

The seeial cheater isnt coming back to you, because you have better sense.

I am sorry about your job, that's a real problem. But it is the only real problem of the 3.

What kind of plans do you want to make about that? What bills do you have? What benefits are you eligible for?

HelenF350 Fri 19-Jun-15 23:40:49

You have to forget about what is happening in other people's lives, you have no control over that. The only person who's life you have control over is your own, take control and change it smile

brokenhearted55a Sat 20-Jun-15 00:09:44

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trackrBird Sat 20-Jun-15 00:24:53

Sorry about your job, broken. That is a blow. I hope you soon find a new one.

A man who has cheated and had multiple break ups and lies and has "foul moods" is hardly likely to morph into a perfect boyfriend is he ...for anyone?
No chance of that whatsoever. That doesn't change anything for you, except perhaps help you realise that in not having him, you are far better off than the poor woman he has now.

I hope life feels better for you soon.

brokenhearted55a Sat 20-Jun-15 01:22:26

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brokenhearted55a Sat 20-Jun-15 01:42:14

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