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sensitive issue

(15 Posts)
crazylady12 Fri 19-Jun-15 00:27:41

I think I might be over reacting but I am so upset, I asked my ex if we could talk today and he said no thE only thing he is interested in from me is sex, I said to him well can I just walk back home with you (we live together I am currently staying at my mum's). when we got there he immediately expected to have sex when I said no, he got annoyed saying I shouldn't of led him on and having a go at me, I know I could of left so it's not like he forced me but in the end I just said I don't want sex but if you do we will, immediately after he said that confirmed I don't even like having sex with you any more. I am just so upset I am 24 and letting myself be treated like this. I can feel myself slipping further into depression and don't know what to do doctors are crap, I wasn't brought up to act this dumb over a man

goddessofsmallthings Fri 19-Jun-15 01:30:40

I'm not overly fond of the medical profession in general, but why are you saying that 'doctors are crap'?

Do you expect doctors to follow you around in order stop you allowing your ex to have sex with you, or make him have sex with you after he said "I don't even like having sex with you any more"?

As you call him your ex and are living at your dm's house, is there any reason why you need to have contact with him?

sconequeen Fri 19-Jun-15 01:59:12

I don't think that you are over-reacting. Your ex sounds horrible. You sound like you are struggling a bit just now so don't be too hard on yourself.

Living with a man as horrible as your ex sounds can drain your self-confidence and self-respect but it sounds like you like you have already taken two big steps forward - 1. you aren't staying with him just now and 2. you know that he is treating you badly. The next two steps are to stay away from him and to keep reminding yourself that you don't need to let him treat you badly. You are worth so much more.

I'm not sure why you are not happy with your doctor. Have you been asking him/her for help with your depression and not getting help? Can you ask to see a different doctor?

You had a bad day yesterday but there is no reason why today can't be onwards and upwards.

sconequeen Fri 19-Jun-15 02:00:20

I don't think that you are over-reacting. Your ex sounds horrible. You sound like you are struggling a bit just now so don't be too hard on yourself.

Living with a man as horrible as your ex sounds can drain your self-confidence and self-respect but it sounds like you like you have already taken two big steps forward - 1. you aren't staying with him just now and 2. you know that he is treating you badly. The next two steps are to stay away from him and to keep reminding yourself that you don't need to let him treat you badly. You are worth so much more.

I'm not sure why you are not happy with your doctor. Have you been asking him/her for help with your depression and not getting help? Can you ask to see a different doctor?

You had a bad day yesterday but there is no reason why today can't be onwards and upwards.

sconequeen Fri 19-Jun-15 02:04:18

I don't think that you are over-reacting. Your ex sounds horrible. You sound like you are struggling a bit just now so don't be too hard on yourself.

Living with a man as horrible as your ex sounds can drain your self-confidence and self-respect but it sounds like you like you have already taken two big steps forward - 1. you aren't staying with him just now and 2. you know that he is treating you badly. The next two steps are to stay away from him and to keep reminding yourself that you don't need to let him treat you badly. You are worth so much more.

I'm not sure why you are not happy with your doctor. Have you been asking him/her for help with your depression and not getting help? Can you ask to see a different doctor?

You had a bad day yesterday but there is no reason why today can't be onwards and upwards.

sconequeen Fri 19-Jun-15 02:05:17

Sorry, didn't mean to post twice!

sconequeen Fri 19-Jun-15 02:07:56

Oops, now see it's appeared four times... sorry! Think the MN site is on a go-slow tonight.

crazylady12 Fri 19-Jun-15 04:32:36

godess doctors ate crap because I have begged for help since I was 15 I have never had propper treatment for my depression, I take it you have never been in I violent relationship your post was really unhelpful and quite upsetting now I remember why I don't post in here

ishouldcocoa Fri 19-Jun-15 04:56:12

I think Sconequeen has given you some good advice.

You don't mention specifically that it's a violent relationship, so how was she to know?

She has suggested that you see a different doctor to see if your depression can be treated, and that you are doing the right thing in separating from this guy, but you need to keep going and stay away from him. For good.

And in doing the above, you will find more peace and happiness.

niceupthedance Fri 19-Jun-15 05:23:38

If I were you I'd change my number. You need to get this arsehole out of your life ASAP!

JeanSeberg Fri 19-Jun-15 05:57:09

Why is he living at your mum's? Do you have kids together?

crazylady12 Fri 19-Jun-15 09:04:00

am trying to get this thread deleted I made a mistake posting it am going to hide it so I can't see it

Joysmum Fri 19-Jun-15 09:58:47

I agree, doctors are crap!

Justus because one posters sees this as the main issue to address you on doesn't make the whole forum a shower of shite but I know that when you are feeling sensitive it's hard to find context.

Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to? Is there anything there doctor you can see?

Another way forward is s self referral on a service called ITalk. Please google for it.

I can feel how down you are in your post, please take care of yourself flowers

MiniTheMinx Fri 19-Jun-15 12:40:33

He has really messed with you hasn't he, he sounds very cruel and cold. Does your mum know what you have been through? Can you talk to her? Anyone in RL?

You say you live with him, is it possible to break contact entirely? If you have things that need to be resolved is it possible to bring in a third party so you can speak with him without being on your own with him?

And yes, some doctors are crap, sometimes it seems that all doctors are crap some of the time. Can you change your doctor, or perhaps ring mind and see if they have any advice.

You are so young, you have a whole life ahead of you, please don't let this man ruin it a second longer x

goddessofsmallthings Fri 19-Jun-15 16:39:22

Please accept my apologies if my response appeared insensitive as I certainly didn't mean it be and I confined it to asking the obvious as I was struggling to work out the dynamics of what has gone on given that you've described him as your ex, but have also said that you live together and you are currently staying at your mums.

Nowhere in your OP have you mentioned violence, but saying that you "weren't you brought up to act this dumb over a man" suggests that your dm/other family members will be supportive in any effort you make to stay away from any man who doesn't treat you with the respect you deserve.

There are numerous drugs which are used to treat/alleviate depression and various talking therapies are available on the NHS, but ultimately it comes down to the patient a) taking the medicine daily or as prescribed and b) recognising the need to help themselves by acting on advice given by professionals as, sadly, there is no magic wand that can cure all ills or transform violent relationships into peaceful ones.

I'm sorry to learn that you've been begging for help since you were 15 as failing to receive appropriate treatment has no doubt adversely impacted on your now adult state of mind. May I ask what treatment you have received and what you consider to be 'proper treatment' in order that responders can make informed suggestions as to what treatments/services are likely to prove beneficial for you?

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