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Divorce Process Mentally Exhausting....

(7 Posts)
Donatello68 Thu 18-Jun-15 23:03:58

In a nutshell, STBXH is EA and has been for years to both me & DC's. At Christmas, when I talked about divorce, he said that he was going blind and would loose his job/drivers licence etc. I went ahead with the divorce anyway. He ignored my solicitors letter and the court papers.

Two weeks after the court papers arrived, he found out that he was going on a course to get a promotion. He said that if he had any correspondence relating to the divorce, it would put him off his course. He said that if he failed his course, he would kill himself. I said that I wasn't going to stop the divorce just because he said so. I got a deemed service granted to go ahead anyway and applied for the decree nisi. STBXH has got his promotion and is under the impression that everything is ok now. The letter from the courts about the decree nisi is due any day. He is going to go absolutely mad. I am mentally exhausted with it all and am struggling to cope. I am dreading that letter coming through but, will be relieved when it is finally here. How does everyone cope?

deckthehallswithdesperation Thu 18-Jun-15 23:08:06

by clawing themselves along by their fingertips & posting furiously on MN. You are merely at the edge of the cliff, it gets a lot worse as ive found out from personal experience. the good folk of mn will hold your hand and offer excellent advice.

drifted2015 Thu 18-Jun-15 23:10:59

Donatello I am coping by posting on MN ( See Hobbits Bar thread ) .... keep posting & people will read , laugh , cry & advise you.

I am a man. The gang in Hobbits Bar are all women except moi. But you will find them such a lovely bunch of wonderful women. Like you we are all in the same boat. Divorce is a rollercoaster , just got to ride it. And then one day it will stop , you get off , and find something better to do.

I am saying you are not alone on Mumsnet. Trust me. I was there in December 2014 & I am in a much better place now.

Check out Hobbits Bar - everyone is welcome to come in & it is a great place to be in .

goddessofsmallthings Thu 18-Jun-15 23:14:13

What deck said and, regardless of what he does when the Nisi drops on his doormat, don't be deterred from applying for the Absolute when the financials are sorted.

Donatello68 Thu 18-Jun-15 23:15:33

Great, thanks very much Drifted and Deckthehalls! See you in Hobbits. It is good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

WellWhoKnew Fri 19-Jun-15 00:52:10

Hi Donatella

I'm a fully fledged customer of Hobbit's bar, and a previous landlady. I am divorced. The process of divorce nearly killed me.

I am the first to campaign against "He says...".

I'm not 'man-averse'. I can vouch for Drifted as a valued local. I accept he has dangly appendage - and significantly : none of Hobbit's bar have demanded he tell us his stats and facts! Nor have we asked him to lob off his dangly bit!

He's amazing for standing up for his gender and having good values. He's the tonic to our gin!

The fact that your STBXH is EA matters not one jot. The fact that you're struggling to cope with it, matters enormously. Do pop in. We serve a large range of beverages. Some of which are revolting.

Take care.

Izzie595 Fri 19-Jun-15 23:55:29


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