Why do some people think they can behave as they wish but then moan when people behave the same way back to them?

[GreenStriped]

I have two recent examples of this and it really annoys me.

A mum from DS's year at school decided instantly that she didn't like me when the boys started in September, and has been unpleasant to me since then. Just things like barging into me, and telling her son loudly not to play with mine. Her son has just had a birthday party, to which all boys in the class apart from my DS were invited. I didn't make a fuss or say anything about it.

I have just handed out invites for my DS's party, to which he's only having 6 friends, and because this woman's son was not invited she went to see the teacher, who then hauled me into the classroom after school tonight because this woman had said that every other child was going and why was her son excluded?! Even if I had excluded her son, which I would not do, she had done it to my child but I'm not allowed to do the same to her?!

Also a colleague at work kept being very hot and cold with me; wanting to be best friends for a few days and then blanking me for a few days, whilst being fine to others, so I made a decision to be polite and professional with her at work but to not be friendly with her any longer.

A couple of weeks ago she asked me one lunchtime if I wanted to go out and get something to eat with her and I said thanks but no, I was busy and was working through lunch that day. She asked me again the following day and I said the same thing, which resulted in her being in tears to the other women in our office saying I was being off towards her.

Why do some people think they can say and do as they please but then hate it if anyone does a similar thing to them?

[LazyLouLou]

Because they are, quite simply, the most important people in the whole wide world. The sooner you get your unimportant brain cell around that fact, the happier you/they will be.

Got it?

And don't get me stated on the bitch I have to call SIL...

[redexpat]

Ha ha! I always find it strangely satisfying when this happens.

[Inexperiencedchick]

Because they don't see themselves in the mirror...

[cafesociety]

I have no idea why some people are so deluded, think they can hurt anyone they like and think the world revolves around them. It's happened to me on many occasions.

I see them as self absorbed, not self aware in any way, not brought up properly, uninformed, rude, critical and judgmental. I've now learnt to walk away.....no explanation, let them stew and wonder.

[Oldraver]

What was your reaction to be hauled before the teacher ?

[tallwivglasses]

what was the teacher's react when you told her the whole story?

[twistletonsmythe]

Narcissistic, entitled, self aborbed idiots prob.

But why a teacher thought they would get involved is beyond me. Surely it is none of their business.

[pallasathena]

Some people love a bit of drama in their lives. Reckon all these soaps on telly have a lot to answer for!

Seriously, we've all been in your position and I think you've handled it brilliantly.

You can't always work out why people do it though but my take is that its a combination of attention seeking, self righteousness and lack of a sense of 'other,' meaning they can't walk in another's shoes, they don't get it that not only they have feelings.

It often results in little dramas as they have to feel that they're 'right,' and you're 'wrong'.

Very often, they're unhappy, have issues that they project onto those whom they consider fair game...

Its a sad way to be and you're right to steer clear. If they perceive you as a challenge though - and it does happen - you're going to have to be strong enough to toss off the odd put down just to let them know you won't be bullied.

[Atenco]

I used to have a friend who felt very free about telling people what was wrong with them but would go ballast if anyone made even the smallest criticism of her.

[Hissy]

Yes what did you say to the teacher? I find it incredible that a teacher with any sense whatsoever would ever think to get involved in a matter like this!

I'd have been livid tbh.