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Suicide attempt

(19 Posts)
Twofatladies88 Thu 18-Jun-15 15:48:02

My husband recntly attempted suicide to stop me leaving. he admitted that he had done it to hurt me but that I was his best friend. My own mother committed suicidd. I feel absolutely torn apart by this. He seems angry and crazy at me when I refuse his attempts at reconcilation because I feel traumatised. I want him to leave me alone. He gets angry and then sends flowers saying sorry. His mind games leave me feeling in little pieces.

I am coping, just. but I need to let the hurt out and with a child in the house i cannot. It is too much responsibility.

I dont know if I need advice, but I cannot just sit with this. The pain is unbearable.

Vagabond Thu 18-Jun-15 16:28:23

Can't leave you unanswered. I can only say that I am sorry for what you are going through. My sister is attempting to leave her husband and he keeps threatening to kill himself and has put her through the ringer.

I'm not qualified to talk about suicide so will not advise you. I just wanted to hold your hand.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 18-Jun-15 16:32:09

Do not take responsibility for his life.

If he makes a suicide threat to you call the police. Every. Time.

They will attend and see if he needs medical attention be it psychiatric or not.

He will soon feel the embarrassment or get sectioned.

Lottapianos Thu 18-Jun-15 16:32:11

Oh Two, that sounds horrendous. He sounds highly manipulative and abusive. No-one should have to put up with 'mind games' in a relationship with another adult.

his is not fair of him at all. You are a separate adult from him, you are not his carer or keeper or responsible for making him happy. How dare he make you feel like this. I can only imagine the memories and feelings this is dragging up for you having lost your mum to suicide.

I'm so sorry

Lottapianos Thu 18-Jun-15 16:33:07

'If he makes a suicide threat to you call the police. Every. Time. '

I know this sounds really tough to do but I think its excellent advice. You need to absolutely refuse to play his game. You are not responsible for him in any way.

Twofatladies88 Thu 18-Jun-15 17:10:48

It is the shittiest thing anyone has ever done to me. I am so angry. Yes I caled for an ambulance. he admitted to did to hurt me but he loves me and I am his best friend?

Best friends do not do this. Ever. He wnats to reconcile but how can i do this? i feel numb towards him.

LazyLouLou Thu 18-Jun-15 17:16:55

Tell him to step the fuck away. NOW!

Remember your last sentence, best friends don't do that and you cannot reconcile. Not because of anything he does/has done, but because you do not want to.

Good luck, stay resolute.

expatinscotland Thu 18-Jun-15 17:19:30

He is emotionally abusive and manipulative. This is not your fault.

mrsdavidbowie Thu 18-Jun-15 17:23:52

Leave him. He is hateful for doing this to you.
I had something similar but not an actual was just another controlling action.

mix56 Thu 18-Jun-15 17:29:03

He probably didn't intend for the suicide to work, it is a vile manipulative move, deliberately using the hurt from your Mum's suicide to break you.
& I agree unforgivable.
Best friends do not do this & someone who loves you does not do this.

Atenco Thu 18-Jun-15 19:47:43

You are not responsible for his actions or his happiness OP. Threatening suicide is extremely cruel. You have tell him that you would hate it if he killed himself but it is not your responsability.

So sorry about your mother.

ThisTimeIAmMagic Thu 18-Jun-15 20:59:21

His choice. You are not responsible. My friend's DH committed suicide as their marriage was in the process of breaking down. She was devastated but a few years on she is happily married with a child. He is dead.

Bad choice on his part.

AboutMeLikeAnOcean Thu 18-Jun-15 21:03:35

His mind games leave me feeling in little pieces.

No, only you make you feel like that.

Isetan Fri 19-Jun-15 07:44:02

He's a selfish manipulative bully and this has absolutely nothing to do with you or love, your feelings weren't a consideration. This attention seeking manipulative act, is confirmation that you did the right thing by ending your relationship. Be kind to yourself by seeking RL support and staying the hell away from this man.

I am so sorry you have to go through this, what a dick.

Twofatladies88 Tue 23-Jun-15 21:26:13

Just a follow up as I have seen a doctor who has signed me off work for two weeks. I have asked for some counselling but am not sure - does anyone have experienve of therapy for traumatic relationships?

I am taking the time to come to terms with what has happened to me - so worried that not coping will be used against me in some way, either on divorce or at work or that Im not a fit parent.

tipsytrifle Tue 23-Jun-15 23:38:58

Thing is, Two, you ARE coping, wonderfully too! He's kind of played his last card, I would think. "You can never step in the same river twice" is a saying that comes to mind. He can play at suicide again but it would be crying wolf. He damaged himself in front of you and you called 999. Sorted. Don't believe his bs propaganda about how weak/easy to control you are because you're amazing and Real while he's an abusive idiot!

houseHuntinginmanchester Tue 23-Jun-15 23:44:20

Hi two.
I'm so sorry you are being put through this.
I don't have any words of wisdom. Just a big unmumsnetty hug. Stay strong x

Destinysdaughter Tue 23-Jun-15 23:53:45

I'm so sorry, this must be really hard for you. I don't want to worry you further but I wanted to make you aware that a man who is feeling suicidal is potentially quite dangerous. If someone feels like they have nothing to lose, they're more likely to be violent to you or your children. Please take extra care of yourself and your kids right now and make others aware of his condition. Hugs and strength to you. And remember whatever he does, it's not your fault.

WingsofNylon Wed 24-Jun-15 09:18:46

You are showing that you are coping by seeking out help from your gp andtaking the ttime you need. He is being manipulative at best and mentally unstable at best so please don't worry about how you might be viewed.

Stay strong and don't let him make you feel guilty. I was put through countless suicide threats in my first relationship. It was awful but I ignored every one of them.

Can you go to stay with friends or family?

Counselling is good but I suggest you get it sooner rather than later. That might mean paying private prices usually £50. Check out women's aid for some advice.

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