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No sex now I'm pregnant - feeling guilty

(15 Posts)
MechanicalSpring Wed 17-Jun-15 21:56:41

I'm 6wks pregnant and since I've found out (nearly 2wks ago) I've lost all interest in sex.

I don't think we've actually had sex since TTC. A couple of sexual encounters but not like we "normally" do.

I'm feeling guilty about it as DP has a very high sex drive. Also, when TTC I was all over him like a rash and now nothing. I avoid any physical contact that might make him think it could lead to sex

When pregnant with DC1 our sex life was great and constant but this time I feel anxious about it and absolutely not in the mood. I don't really have any pregnancy symptoms so it's not like I'm using that as an excuse. I'm more worried about this pregnancy than before so I'm not sure if that's the problem.

I don't know what to do sad.

lonelystarbuckslover Wed 17-Jun-15 22:12:06

At 6 weeks, I think that sounds normal. You are anxious and not in the mood. We all have times like that. There will be times when you are randy as! Is he ok or is he complaining? Does it have to be full intercourse or nothing? I'm not always in the mood for full sex but can be interested in the other stuff...

professornangnang Wed 17-Jun-15 22:30:43

Wait til you actually have the baby! Sex will be a distant memory and you'll be laughing about how you were worried you hadn't had it in 4 weeks!

MechanicalSpring Thu 18-Jun-15 05:52:39

He gets grumpy if we don't have sex which makes me feel bad.

We already have 1 DC and our sex life didn't change after she was born.

MechanicalSpring Thu 18-Jun-15 06:06:14

I think he thought it would be the same as the last time I was pregnant i.e. our sex life didn't change so he doesn't understand why I don't feel like it now.

TealFanClub Thu 18-Jun-15 06:12:03

Getting grumpy is unfair. He's an adult. He needs to be understanding. You aren't a machine.

HoggleHoggle Thu 18-Jun-15 06:24:43

Him getting grumpy is just going to make it worse though - who wants to have sex with someone who is essentially sulking? Hugely unattractive. Does he not understand that pregnancy totally changes hormones etc? It doesn't matter if you were still in the mood last time. You're not this time.

JeanSeberg Thu 18-Jun-15 06:29:57

What's to understand? You don't want sex, end of.

Tell him to have a wank.

Does he sulk over other stuff too?

MechanicalSpring Thu 18-Jun-15 06:40:19

He doesn't sulk about anything else, he's generally very laidback. If a few days/week goes by without sex then his mood noticeably changes. He doesn't really sulk either, is just grumpy if that makes sense.

He sorts himself out the odd time but says he doesn't really like doing that and would rather we were intimate.

Superworm Thu 18-Jun-15 07:34:55

Going off sex in pregnancy is normal for some women. Sulking about it isn't. Two weeks is nothing in the scheme of things and if your worried about the pregnancy, it's not surprising your not feeling like sex. Have talked to him about how your feeling?

junebirthdaygirl Thu 18-Jun-15 08:00:00

Think it's fairly regular to go off sex in the beginning because of that queasy feeling and desperate tiredness. But when that passes l found you will be all on for sex and really enjoy it until the end. So just go with the flow and relax.

idokidok13 Thu 18-Jun-15 08:31:13

I think that's pretty normal. Early pregnancy sucks. Really sucks. Its the worst biy imo. He should understand that its not your fault surely? You should never feel guilty about not having sex with someone, its not something you owe him :S

BifsWif Thu 18-Jun-15 09:27:27

I didn't have sex with my DH for the first 12 weeks, it's completely normal!

I was anxious due to previous losses, and sex was the last thing I was thinking about. Your husband should understand and be supportive, you have nothing to feel guilty about!

cailindana Thu 18-Jun-15 09:30:40

You're growing him a new child. Tell him to fuck the fuck off and have a wank and stop being such a grumpy git and show tiny bit of gratitude for the fact that he's not the one tired and inconvenienced by pregnancy. Selfish arsehole.

MechanicalSpring Thu 18-Jun-15 09:57:59

grin your post made me laugh cailindana

Yes, I should speak to him about it. Find it easier to make like an ostrich!

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