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He threw his wedding ring back at me so many times

(31 Posts)
Buildbasebabe Tue 16-Jun-15 23:33:10

My husband has thrown his wedding ring back at me so many times it felt like it was a boomerang rather than a ring....the last time he did it I said he wouldn't get it back. A year later, after he has filed for divorce - his choice - he has randomly asked for it back 'because it's mine' he said. I have it tucked away upstairs - do I have to give it back? Don't ask me why I want to keep it because I don't know!!!

teentraumas Tue 16-Jun-15 23:36:11

I wouldn't give it back! He threw it.. Tell him you threw it away after the last time!

kittybiscuits Tue 16-Jun-15 23:37:12

Tell him you threw it away. If you like, tell him you threw it out of the window into the garden about a year ago and see if he crawls around looking for it. You're well rid of him.

PurpleWithRed Tue 16-Jun-15 23:38:50

Just give it back. Don't stoop to his level.

mrstweefromtweesville Tue 16-Jun-15 23:40:09

Long after he'd left, my ex asked for the gold cufflinks I'd given him on our engagement. He'd chosen not to take them with him.

I said I didn't know where they were. But I knew. Later, when our small daughter and I had no money for food, I sold them and used the money.

SignoraStronza Tue 16-Jun-15 23:40:56

Keep it, flog it to 'cash for gold' and buy yourself something nice with the proceeds.

Buildbasebabe Tue 16-Jun-15 23:47:00

Thanks all. Am I legally obliged to give it back?

VanitasVanitatum Tue 16-Jun-15 23:49:09

Legally it's his, or it was, depends how they would approach the fact that he threw it at you; I would suggest at that point you had the right to do with it as you wished!

I'd give it back just because I didn't want it anymore really.

Anniegetyourgun Tue 16-Jun-15 23:53:15

I expect he wants it back so he has something to throw at the next poor woman.

goddessofsmallthings Wed 17-Jun-15 00:04:05

He threw it at you, you picked it up and placed it on a table, shelf, draining board, or similar, since when you haven't got a clue where it is - could have got knocked off wherever you put it, swept up, and thrown out with the trash.

Let it stay where you've stashed it and no doubt there'll come a time when you'll be happy to part with it - be that selling it or 'finding' it and returning it to it's former owner.

Canyouforgiveher Wed 17-Jun-15 00:10:26

Did he really take his ring off and throw it at you? As in wrenching it off his finger and dramatically throwing it at you? You must really miss all that drama smile

I wouldn't give it to him. I would tell him you didn't bother picking it up the last time.

Buildbasebabe Wed 17-Jun-15 00:18:13

Canyouforgiveher - yes, really thrown 3 times, carefully left on the kitchen table while on holiday and then told our children he was leaving 2 times and then thrown at me in the car..so miscounted...6 times.....more drama than Londons West End...well rid nowsmile

however Wed 17-Jun-15 00:18:23

Throw it at him next time he's standing in front of a wide body of water.

Bogeyface Wed 17-Jun-15 00:22:42

"I have no idea where it is. I didnt pick it up last time so it probably went into the hoover and into the bin"

Bogeyface Wed 17-Jun-15 00:24:33

He is asking for it back because he wants you to give it back to him, signifying that you still have that bond and he is still the boss of you. By saying you have no idea where it is and couldnt give 2 shiny shites, it takes that away. He wont like it, but its worth doing wink

goddessofsmallthings Wed 17-Jun-15 00:34:11

Legally speaking, it was his and he chose to dispose of it by throwing it away - so, no ground for an insurance claim and no comeback if he changed his mind after chucking it.

ReallyTired Wed 17-Jun-15 00:35:26

I am sorry you are going through this. You do not have to give either his ring back or yours. The ring he gave you was a gift and he choose to throw his ring at you.

He sounds like an emotional abusive bastard.

Canyouforgiveher Wed 17-Jun-15 00:39:34

He sounds like an emotional abusive bastard.

Actually he sounds like a teenager. Good luck to the next woman.

Agree with PP - he wants you to give it to him because this means you picked it up and kept it. Maybe look at him blankly and say "what ring?" and when he says "my wedding ring" say "god haven't a clue where that is, why would I?"

Fontella Wed 17-Jun-15 10:35:40

He threw it at you, you picked it up and placed it on a table, shelf, draining board, or similar, since when you haven't got a clue where it is - could have got knocked off wherever you put it, swept up, and thrown out with the trash.

Yep.

Sorry, no idea where it is .... confused

SecondMrsAshwell Wed 17-Jun-15 10:37:40

Tell him you left it where it landed and it must have been sucked up in the hoover. He can go and look in landfill if he wants.

Viviennemary Wed 17-Jun-15 10:38:17

Tell him it's lost and that he should have taken better care of it.

darkness Wed 17-Jun-15 14:40:23

I would hammer it flat
then stick it in an envelope and post it to him

teatrailer Wed 17-Jun-15 15:15:27

Flog it, then when you tell him that you have no idea where it is, it will be the truth.

Buy yourself some lovely bottles of something, and toast him when you drink them. smile

SylvaniansAtEase Wed 17-Jun-15 17:34:35

What ring? He threw it away, didn't he?

No you should NOT give it back. For two reasons:

1. He's indulging in just the same kind of drama he enjoyed when you were putting up with him. He wants very much for you to present him with his ring... so that he can feel smug about the fact that you kept it, wonder whether it was in your bedside drawer all this time, did you often catch sight of it and sigh? Self-indulgent little drama llama. So give him the bucket of cold water that he richly deserves and send him a final message that you aren't there to play those games any more. You presume the ring is where he last threw it/where you last left it when he left it with you, and you can't remember what you did with it. Shrug. Why would you keep it?

2. It sounds like you deserve to get something in return for putting up with all his ring-related nonsense... so I think a far more deserving fate for that ring is to be sold for a nice little sum which you spend on yourself in the most indulgent way possible. Sell the damn ring and buy yourself a present!

Well done on getting rid of him!

Rebecca2014 Wed 17-Jun-15 18:43:17

My sbeh constantly threw his wedding ring at me, every time we argued and that was a lot. Anyway, I have his ring and his never asked for it back. It's not worth much but I'm going sell it, get a takeaway or something, lol.

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