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Should I tackle DSis about suspected eating disorder?

(3 Posts)
tomatoandcheese2009 Tue 16-Jun-15 21:36:50

I've been umming and ahhing about this for days and need some advice, oh wise Mumsnetters. My DSis has always been slender. She's very active and loves to be on the go. But lately she's dropped even more weight and is looking worryingly thin. She does a very stressful job, with long hours, and has recently started competing in triathlons, so it could just be a combination of lack of time/increased exercise due to training. But also her long term bf has recently taken a 7 year contract to work abroad, which seems to correlate with the increased weight loss. She also seems a bit manic generally - can't sit still for a moment, always needs to be on the move. And talks about food all the time without actually EATING very much at all, which seemed like a red flag.

I've had several friends with eating disorders, which may predispose me to overreacting. But I am worried. We aren't a family who are very comfortable with sharing feelings, but I do get on really well with her and in fact she lived with DH and I for several months when she first started her job. Essentially I'm asking for advice on what approach to take: 1) tackle her about it, 2) say nothing but increase time spent with her, especially meals so I can keep an eye out, 3) butt out and hope she would feel confident enough to come to me if she does want help.

tomatoandcheese2009 Tue 16-Jun-15 21:41:05

I lie. There's option 4 which is to approach our DB (who is a nutritionist and her twin) to see if he also feels there is room for concern. But that feels a bit like going behind her back...

Thenapoleonofcrime Tue 16-Jun-15 22:14:30

I don't know what you should do, but I do know that excessive exercising and rigid eating, including disorders often go together- and it sounds like even if your sister isn't there yet, she very soon will be, the talking obsessively about food, but never being seen eating anything or only tiny amounts of salad is very typical.

Your post is quite identifiable, given the nature of your DS/DB jobs- hope she's not on here, or would that provide a way into discussion?

I guess it comes down to the type of relationship you have, I couldn't raise something like this with my DS/DB somehow, but perhaps with a friend I could.

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