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Why do married men look at dating websites?

(18 Posts)
whyohwhy234 Tue 16-Jun-15 09:11:38

At the beginning of this year I was helping a friend set up an online dating account and whilst searching local men we came across an account which I am pretty sure belongs to my cousin's husband. No picture but right age, star sign, height etc and a nickname that I know he has used for other things. It's Match and I don't think he a paid account as my friend has viewed, winked and favourited him but he has never viewed her, he doesn't know my friend so it's not that he is avoiding her for fear of outing himself.

As he comes up in her search criteria, friend has kept an eye on his activity and sometimes he doesn't log in for weeks and then other times it's every day. I don't know the ins and outs of my cousin's marriage but I'm curious about why a married guy would regularly log on to a dating website but not seem to be looking for a date. My first thought is that he's dipping his toe in to see what else is available but maybe isn't brave enough to take the next step.

suntzu123 Tue 16-Jun-15 10:24:06

Could be be suspicious about your cousin? Ie checking she is not on there.

dominogocatgo Tue 16-Jun-15 10:29:17

The same reasons married women do. Sometimes to snoop on other people, sometimes curiosity, sometimes to have illicit liaisons.

cheesebagel Tue 16-Jun-15 10:29:20

I sometimes browse dating websites myself (am a married woman), I have some friends with profiles on there and I keep a look out for them and also to swap gossip on interesting/amusing profiles we see! I don't put photos on and keep my information very limited (but you have to set some info to be able to log in and view). I never respond to any kind of contact and I've not signed up for any trials. DH knows about it and doesn't care, sometimes I point out some of the more interesting profiles to him as well.

Sickoffrozen Tue 16-Jun-15 13:31:15

Curiosity? Fantasy? Who knows.

People do things for lots of reasons and it's not always for the obvious one.

I had a look at the fabswinging site the other day after reading a thread on here. Curiosity got the better of me! It was an eye opener that's for sure!

longlistofexlovers Tue 16-Jun-15 13:32:02


FolkGirl Tue 16-Jun-15 17:44:00

Keeping their options open.

Eekaman Tue 16-Jun-15 21:42:35

I've got a very nice motorbike. I like bikes, good fun when used responsibly, and the one I have now is seriously good.

But the other day I went into a showroom and looked at some other motorbikes. I have no intention to change mine, it's terrific, but I just wanted to look, there's no harm in that.

FolkGirl Tue 16-Jun-15 21:48:56

That's actually pretty shitty.

WONAR Tue 16-Jun-15 21:57:08

agreed FolkGirl, it's an incredibly shitty thing to do (as well as comparing a sentient human being to a frigging motorbike).

JimmyChoosChimichanga Tue 16-Jun-15 22:02:56

What Wonar & Folkgirl said.

Evenhasawatermark Tue 16-Jun-15 22:07:10

DP and I had a stupid fight months ago and both spitefully joined tinder, we quit after a day as it was a drunken stupid thing-neither of us spoke to anyone but we have since gone on together to look at what people say about themselves as we like to be nosey blush

VenusAsAChild Tue 16-Jun-15 22:12:58

Oh I see, I think. Its because they are practising to build up the confidence to buy a new motorbike. Yes, that's it. Makes sense now.

FolkGirl Tue 16-Jun-15 22:45:08

And fantasising about what motorbike they'd buy in an ideal world if they could afford it, but they know they'd never be able to get one as nice as that so they just look and make do with the one they've got.

Eekaman Wed 17-Jun-15 01:00:03

Not at all Folkgirl, it's not preparation, or comparing a human being to a inanimate object. It was a simile, to illustrate that just looking, casually, need not lead to anything greater.

viridus Wed 17-Jun-15 05:45:13

Desperate to change their current partner, but lacking the courage to do it.

FolkGirl Wed 17-Jun-15 05:47:55

Eekaman there is a difference though. It's not disrespectful to a bike to look and see what else is out there, it's hugely disrespectful to your spouse/partner.

longlistofexlovers Wed 17-Jun-15 06:57:19

it's hugely disrespectful to your spouse/partner.

I'm sure Eekaman agrees - her using the motorbike analogy doesn't suggest that she doesn't.

The problem in the men in question don't give a shit about respect for their partners when window shopping.

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