Drunken comments

[daisygatsby]

So at a 'do' over weekend. As usual h gets too drunk

We had been bickering as I was pissed off with his inability to go on a night out without getting plastered.

As we were going to bed out of blue he comes out with ' my mother was raped. So stick that up your feminist hole.'

I asked him in the am if it was true..no she wasn't but may have been molested..he doesn't know...

How would you feel about this ?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

What do you get out of this relationship now?. How long have you been living like this?.

And you are together still because?.

[LineRunner]

I'd feel pissed off and weirded out. Does he remember saying it?

[daisygatsby]

I don't think he does remember saying it.

I feel disgusted that he's used whatever happens to his mother as a way of getting at me.

[daisygatsby]

*happened

[daisygatsby]

The same night I also overheard him telling his brother he's done coke when away with a mate recently.

I feel I'm married to a manchild

We have two dc

[Pagwatch]

I don't even understand what bizarre point he was trying to make.

[daisygatsby]

No me neither .
He's always taking the piss out of me for being a feminist.

Oh god . I just don't have the energy for this. But i can't stop thinking about it .

[Charley50]

I'd probably think it was a 'secret' that he carries around with him, which he blurted out when drunk.

[daisygatsby]

That's what I wondered charley , but when I asked him about it the next morning I definitely didn't get that feeling from him about it

[LineRunner]

My OH is a lovely man in most ways but he can talk utter shite when he's a bit pissed.

But this seems so pointless, so bitter. Was it related in any way to the subject of the bickering? It's just so bizarre.

Is your DH lovely in most ways? Or is he turning out to be unliveable with? Some do, you know.

[LineRunner]

So maybe he was saying, 'You think you know all there is to know about women, well my mother was raped and you didn't know that...'?

[daisygatsby]

It was totally out of the blue.

I just don't know. Drinking has caused issues before .

[PoshPenny]

I'm afraid I'd be less concerned about the strange drunk comment and more worried about the fact he can't go out without getting plastered or whatever were the exact words you used to that effect.

[Charley50]

Well, maybe he made it up for some bizarre reason, or maybe his mum doesnt want him to tell anyone so he's pretending ignorance. Why is it bothering you so much?

[daisygatsby]

Yes penny that is an issue also. He said he'll stop but he's said that before .

[daisygatsby]

Why is it bothering me, charley ? Well for one its pretty disrespectful to both me and his mother

[Charley50]

But isn't the drinking too heavily more of an issue? Well I suppose what he said is a by-product of the heavy drinking. Yes if he made it up I agree it's disrespectful to you both.

[Pagwatch]

It would bother me too.

'Well my mother was raped so up yours' is really fucking weird. Using rape as a one-upmanship thing is bad. Using your mother in that context is really horrible.

[Skiptonlass]

What's he trying to achieve here? What's his point?

It sounds pretty miserable to be living with someone who can't have a couple of pints and come home civil. He does sound like a man child. What's the rest of the relationship like? I have a feeling your going to say "well most of the time he's a great father/husband...etc" and the reply you'll get is that most of the time isn't ok. We all have our off days but the only acceptable level of arseholery is zero :(

Have you done the "feminism is basically equal rights for women. What bit of that scares you?" Thing?

And when they start blathering on about man hating feminazis you calmly return to, "no, feminism aims for equal social, political, legal and economic rights for women and men. What bit of that don't you agree with and why?"

[AnyFucker]

"stick that up your feminist hole"

I think your husband doesn't like you very much.

[daisygatsby]

Oh god. He has history of getting too drunk and saying hideous things and I thought we had got past it as no major incidents for a couple of years. But the lack of incidents is because - fortunately - we don't get to go out much together due to finances/childcare .

[daisygatsby]

I just feel so tired of it

[Hullygully]

he has ishoos, clearly

[daisygatsby]

What kind of ishoos do you think hully ?
Drinking ones or misogynist ones or both ??

[Charley50]

Does he recognise it as a problem?