Hi, this is the 1st time I have posted so bear with me please. I have been married to my DH for 12 years and back then we both worked full time and used to put a % of our wages into a joint account for house, bills etc. When I had both my children I still did this even though I wasnt getting a full wage and then went back to work part time, still contributing a %. Out of my wages I would buy my own cars (I like better ones than him) and pay for all my own clothes, hair, gym etc.
18 months ago I was made redundant as I wouldnt change my hours to full time so the only income I now get is child benefit for the children. I have looked for child friendly hours but dont want to pay lots more childcare until my youngest is in school. My husband has a good job and also a mortgage free house that was left to him, which he rents out and keeps the rent for his retirement. DH still puts money into the joint account for the house, bills, food and kids things. I have to pay for my own car, fuel, insurance, tax, repairs, gym, hair cuts, clothes and anything else I might need for me. I have my own savings from when I worked so can use these if needed but not as much as my husband as he still has enough money left over each month to save too. Essential jobs on the house have been done but there are still outstanding things from when we moved in 15 years ago that need to be done, we are still using some furniture he picked with his ex. I didnt have a proper armchair for 6 years as had to wait for his to break before we could buy new ones (but still have the couch he bought with his ex). I cannot buy anything new of 'there is nothing wrong with what we have'. I did want to move house a few years ago as I never really liked the house we live in (he picked the area) but couldnt sell it so he agreed to pay for a conservatory instead, which I also paid some money towards whilst I was on mat leave.
Am I expecting too much from him as he is is the one going out and earning at the moment to provide for us. I told him I was going to change my car for one that was cheaper to run on fuel (using my savings) but he never offers to pay for my fuel. I feel like I cant buy myself anything as I have to pretend I have no money.
Our DS has a number of medical conditions that he does not understand and cannot show any empathy to her and I think he is very hard on her, I do not leave them alone together much as she says she does not like him much. He says I am a hypercondriac but infact I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety (he doesnt know this yet as he cant understand it). My parents do not like him or the way he treats us which makes it difficult too. I am well aware that he is working and providing for us and I should be greateful and do everything at home but the money and lack of trust with money I feel is a problem so would like to know if everyone else supports themselves why they are at home with children.
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Relationships
What do stay at home mums/dads do for money
Strawberry25 · 14/06/2015 22:26
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