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I've told DP I want to separate

(4 Posts)
accessorizequeen Sun 14-Jun-15 20:10:41

We've been together 15 years. 4 dc. I've been unhappy for about 4 years, which is when I started sleeping in the spare room most of the time. I've tried several times to tell him that I want to separate and that I don't feel the same way anymore about him. He just can't seem to face up to it, says he will take less from me if that's all I have. Wait until things change for the better. I just can't keep pretending it's all fine. He keeps calling me darling. Talks about being together when we're 65. It makes me feel suffocated. He's a nice guy, he's a good dad, tho totally wedded to his work. I just don't want to hug him, I don't miss him when he goes away, I don't want to spend a night out with him, we rarely have sex.
I told him by text after we'd had an argument tonight, tried to be gentle, tried to get him to see that it's not what he deserves or what the kids should see as an example. He's just texted back all the reasons why we can't.

accessorizequeen Sun 14-Jun-15 20:14:18

Now is an awful time. But he won't even agree that's what's going to happen. Won't even acknowledge that I'm unhappy. Says it would destroy the kids, we can't afford it, kill his new business. What do I do now?? Money is a problem right now, but why couldn't we start planning how it will happen for the kids benefit? Do it without arguments or bitterness or recriminations?

wallaby73 Sun 14-Jun-15 20:14:30

You don't need his permission or agreement.....

accessorizequeen Sun 14-Jun-15 20:17:41

But neither of us have money right now to just move out, we have a large house with a large mortgage. I just can't go on like this with him pretending it will all be fine and refusing to discuss it.

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