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He ended it, so why is he STILL HERE!!!!!

(8 Posts)
Orangenails Sun 14-Jun-15 10:19:52

Posted about my bf before and about his drinking, awful behavior when I was pregnant/after baby was born his refusal to have sex with me etc and we split many times!

3 months ago we decided to give the relationship a real go, none of us wanted to be arguing over our dd and we laid all the issues on the table and agreed to wipe the slate clean and try again!

Everything was going ok, still hadn't got a sexual relationship back properly but we were trying to head in the right direction!

So yeasterday he went out leaving at 9am he returned at 10pm last night drunk, he asked me to do something on his phone, which I did then started shouting that I had changed his phone wallpaper etc and that wasn't his phone!!! I snapped back and said not to shout because he was drunk and that we could sort his phone in the morning!

This wasn't good enough and he started shouting how I should just go to bed and leave him downstairs as I was annoying him and he was pissed off with me everything the then snapped at my 12 year old dd when she came down and said not to speak to her mum like that!

So he basically said we had no common ground and it wasn't going to work as I don't drink and he wants a relationship where he can enjoy himself and that the last 3 month have been stress! I said fine, first I heard we have got on better the last 3 months than we have for years but he was prob right and if he was 100% it was over then he could sleep on the sofa and leave before I woke in the morning (it's my house and we don't live together)

So this morning he comes up and get the baby when she wakes and takes her downstairs, I stay in my room out the way thinking he will go any minute, my older children then wake and go downstairs and I go to bet them breakfast I then return upstairs to find him laying in bed with baby saying he will just have half hour snooze before he goes!!!! That was 45 minutes ago!

I don't want to cause a scene in front of the older kids but he really needs to leave, why is he still here?

We are over we both know that, I'm not bringing my kids up where drink plays such a important role in everything, included just a trip into town on a Saturday afternoon!

ImperialBlether Sun 14-Jun-15 10:22:57

Can you send your children out to friends or family for a couple of hours and gather up a bag of his things, so that when he gets up you can just pass it to him on his way out of the door?

ohtheholidays Sun 14-Jun-15 10:23:01

First of OP I wouldn't let him lay in bed with the baby sleeping if he's been drinking the night before.That can be really dangerous.

Honestly I would take the baby from the bed and then I would wake him up and tell him it's time to go.

GrannyWW Sun 14-Jun-15 10:25:29

He should not be sleeping with the baby if he has been drinking !!!!! Your older kids could probably do with seeing you calmy asking him to leave imo

Orangenails Sun 14-Jun-15 10:37:50

He only has a few bits here which I collected up a stuck in a bag by the door for him last night!

I would of happily kicked him out last night but didn't think it would be fair in inflict his drink driving on others so gave him the couch with instructions to go first thing.

I just want to get on with my life, I want to go into my bedroom to dress etc not tiptoe around my own house waiting for him to leave!

The older kids are playing downstairs so I will go and tell him it's time he went.

LazyLouLou Sun 14-Jun-15 11:44:39

How are you now, Orange?

TopOfTheCliff Sun 14-Jun-15 12:25:26

He had his drunken rant and is now hoping you will forget all about it and he can carry on as usual. Has he crossed the line of no return for you yet? I do hope so because this is doing your DC no good at all.

I hope you have stayed strong and made him leave. You will all be happier if you have.

SolidGoldBrass Sun 14-Jun-15 12:35:30

If he refuses to leave, especially if he becomes even slightly aggressive, tell him you will call the police to remove him. If necessary do it. It's your house and he doesn't live there, so the police can and will remove him.

If it does get that far, change the locks once he's gone, as well.

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