Does anyone else feel that they have a rotten core? On the surface I am a nice person - lots of friends and pretty sociable. Work really hard and get on really well with colleagues. Pull my weight and try my hardest
I work outside the home and struggle with feelings of guilt about that but ultimately I reconcile with that as I am the primary earner and needs must. I do focus on my children when not working. So far so good. I give to charity regularly, have taken animals from shelters and made them family pets. I try hard to support struggling local businesses and support the arts by attending things and making donations. I tip well and generally try and live a good life. I work hard at my marriage but this is where the rotten bit comes - I was unfaithful a number of years ago and just know that I am this stinking rotten person on the inside. I have moved geographically away and put practical obstacles in my way. I have had counselling and yet and this is why I am disgusting - I struggle to completely let go of that time. It was very powerful. I know now that it was not love. A secret cannot be love. Love is being constant and true and loyal and I try so hard to be that wife now but I know I am disgusting and rotten. Something terrible happened 15 years ago and more and more it won't stay in the box I put it in. Is this why I am so effed up or am I just basically bad through and through.
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Relationships
rotten
oldwoundshurting · 13/06/2015 11:30
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