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Friend's DH Dry Humping a 'friend'

(155 Posts)
AgainstTheWind Sat 13-Jun-15 10:10:52

A good friend of mine needs advice and she's aware I am posting on here.

She has just found out her DH has been 'dry humping' a friend of his during which they fantasise about fucking each other. It's happened about a dozen times according to the DH.

He slipped up he had been round this friend's house when he had previously said he was working and my friend was suspicious. She asked about it and her DH admitted he fancied the friend and my friend demanded to see his phone which he eventually reluctanctly showed her.

She said it's clear from the texts they haven't had actual sex. He met this friend the other day and texted her afterwards saying he would love to fuck her for real but he can't.

I've told my friend he has still cheated on her but she's not sure if it warrants splitting up over. They've got kids in their late teens who still live at home.

I've said it is her decision and how she feels about it but she thinks it would be helpful to know how serious people consider it. He denys it's an emotional affair and has done the normal minimalising crap.

CMP69 Sat 13-Jun-15 10:14:34

That's a physical affair! I'm not usually quick to judge on these types of thread but my H would be out the door asap

GammonAndEgg Sat 13-Jun-15 10:15:57

What the actual fuck?!

LTB.

Lovingfreedom Sat 13-Jun-15 10:20:18

How would he like her to dry hump his friends?

notapizzaeater Sat 13-Jun-15 10:21:25

Really ? I'd be packing his bags ....

ImperialBlether Sat 13-Jun-15 10:21:45

Ugh what a pig. Get rid.

Joysmum Sat 13-Jun-15 10:22:01

Any sort of titilation that requires being kept secret from a partner is betrayal. That doesn't need to be PIV sex.

Lucy61 Sat 13-Jun-15 10:24:03

Didn't realise that 'dry humping' was even a thing? Who does that?! Very doggy behaviour. wink

ScorpioMermaid Sat 13-Jun-15 10:25:19

If my DH did that he'd be out the door so fast!

AgainstTheWind Sat 13-Jun-15 10:26:04

He's denying an affair. He said they fancy each other and have just got carried away a few times but have stopped short of sex.

He only had texts from when they met the other day so my friend only has his word about most of it but did say he clearly hadn't fucked her.

flatbellyfella Sat 13-Jun-15 10:26:04

Pack his bags & show him the front door. End of !!!

HellKitty Sat 13-Jun-15 10:28:09

I had a Jack Russell that did that to my leg. I doubt he was dry humping her leg though confused

Littletabbyocelot Sat 13-Jun-15 10:30:24

I would consider that an affair, so either leave or a lot of work on recovery. Bare minimum from him to even consider staying would be cut the minimising crap, cut contact with the ow, do whatever your friend needs in terms of understanding why it happened and rebuilding trust.

FluffyJawsOfDoom Sat 13-Jun-15 10:30:51

It'd only be a matter of time til it was full sex, and it's a huge huge betrayal. The fact he thinks it's ok sets off alarm bells too; id be packing his bags.

Newrule Sat 13-Jun-15 10:32:41

Bizarre.

In cases of infidelity I say LTB. So LTB.

mrstweefromtweesville Sat 13-Jun-15 10:34:51

No, no, no. A 'friend' is someone you have a cup of tea with, go fishing with, maybe meet for a pint.

A woman with whom a man acts out sex, even if they're still wearing all or some of their clothes, that's not a friend. That's a mistress. A partner in adultery.

Sack the faithless husband.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sat 13-Jun-15 10:35:48

Of course it's an affair confused the self justification and delusion is incredible. Of course it's an affair.

AgainstTheWind Sat 13-Jun-15 10:38:00

He's minimising like fuck by the sound of it and she wants to believe him.

It didn't mean anything and he didn't fuck her/have an affair/never done it before.

She doesn't know how long it's been going on for. He's admitted to 6 months so it's gonna be longer than that isn't it.

qazxc Sat 13-Jun-15 10:38:22

It's sexual contact. So what if it wasn't penetrative sex? would a hand job or blow job be ok? He's minimising and gaslighting to save his own skin.
She's not a friend she's his mistress.
As a rule of thumb if you are doing something that you would not be happy your other half witnessing, you shouldn't be doing it.

fourquenelles Sat 13-Jun-15 10:38:22

So he is minimising the fact that he was rubbing his erection on her body whilst (in all likelihood) kissing and fondling her? Physical affair in everything but putting his penis inside her. How horrible for your friend.

BastardGoDarkly Sat 13-Jun-15 10:41:30

So I take it there's kissing and groping? Can't just be rubbing genitals together through clothes. He's cheating on her.

What a total prick, his attitude now would have me spitting feathers.

Bellebella Sat 13-Jun-15 10:43:26

Oh he is just rubbing his erection on her but it's ok, they have not had penetrative sex. He has clearly kissed her, fondled her and in likelihood done everything par from penetrative sex. I don't know why your friend does not see that, has more respect for herself and LTB!!!

AgainstTheWind Sat 13-Jun-15 10:43:27

He's admitted fondling and kissing her boobs but denies snogging her.

PoppyBlossom Sat 13-Jun-15 10:45:44

Christ, what a pig. Thinks he can get off on a technicality? This is a bloody marriage he's screwing up. 'Ooh look at me, give me a shiny medal for not actually putting my penis in this woman I really fancy!'

It's the infidelity but also the blatant disregard he has for his wife. How can she ever respect him? He clearly doesn't respect her.

PoppyBlossom Sat 13-Jun-15 10:49:46

He's fucking twisted. It would break my heart having the man I'd loved for what sounds like decades explaining that he had groped and kissed another woman's body, but there was no snogging or piv sex, so he has a clear conscience.

I can understand your friend wanting to be an ostrich and bury her head in the sand but she really eedd to get angry. If she hides that anger now it's going to erupt inside of her, andi it's only her who will hurt.

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