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Family Scapegoat

(7 Posts)
DeckSwabber Fri 12-Jun-15 22:03:44

I am sick of playing this role.

I'm told off for not keeping people informed of family news (I look after my mum) yet no-one replies to my letters or messages and or accepts friend invitations on FB. It looks as if it's my job to

A - do everything right all the time so that they don't have to help my mum themselves
B - get everything wrong so that they can ignore me in good conscience.

Pissed off. Tired. Hurt.

Hippymama1 Sat 13-Jun-15 06:24:38

Come on over to the Stately Homes thread deckswabber... You are not alone. flowers

DeckSwabber Sat 13-Jun-15 09:02:33

I don't understand how the whole family can act as one. I've asked a number of people for help to resolve this but they are now non-communicators... yet I don't know what has happened to provoke this.

FrancesNiadova Sat 13-Jun-15 09:15:10

Stately Homes' Garden Annexe is looking lovely this time of year, go & have a look.flowersflowersflowersflowersflowersflowers

PeppermintCrayon Sun 14-Jun-15 00:31:21

Families do tend to act as one. It's sort of like a script where everyone plays a set part.

Google 'homeostasis' which is a word for this...

PeppermintCrayon Sun 14-Jun-15 00:32:39

Make that "homeostasis within families"

DeckSwabber Sun 14-Jun-15 18:34:51

Thanks. I've had a look. And yes it makes sense.

I can't make sense of what is going on. I'm having some counselling to help me to deal with the impact of it, because I can't walk away from my mum. This weekend I feel unexpectedly floored by it - just exhausted by having to carry this.

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