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Why do some men become nasty after rejection?

(23 Posts)
Inexperiencedchick Thu 11-Jun-15 15:58:28

Just a quick question:

Why do some of them become nasty and hurt you more when you listen to your gut and reject them?
I don't think someone will reject a man in purpose.
Usually I say no, based on how they treat me and how they make me feel...

Am I wrong to have a feeling that something doesn't add up despite the fact that you care for them greatly?
Despite the feeling of very strong desire but still choosing to walk away.

Why do they have to have the last word, make you feel miserable and laugh at you when you so "no".
Why don't they try to analyse their own actions and make some amendments or feel responsible?

Just don't have a clue really...

Spell99 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:02:20

This isn't just men.

Joysmum Thu 11-Jun-15 16:03:05

Everybody is entitled to their feelings, what they aren't entitled to is behaving like an entitled twat about it.

Well rid, shows your instincts are bang on the money wink

Inexperiencedchick Thu 11-Jun-15 16:03:18

I know...

Flowerpower41 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:04:17

Their ego gets in the way and they let it get the better of them.

It is a rare man that would accept rejection gracefully. They believe they are rather important in the scheme of things sadly sad.

I am pretty sure I am right on this too.

Pathetic isn't it.

SolidGoldBrass Thu 11-Jun-15 16:08:15

It's usually men, rather than women, who behave like this. Men like this consider themselves superior to women and fully entitled to command a woman's attention, obedience and open legs. A woman who won't allow them access to her Sacred Vagina is a Bad woman who is rebelling against the laws of gods and nature; she doesn't Know Her Place.
This is why they are nasty. They would be just as nasty if you did become involved with them, except probably in slightly different ways.
I suggest any particularly grim ones get treated to 'Gosh, you must really have issues with the size of your willy' if the interaction is online: saying so face to face is possibly dangerous even though it is fun.

Inexperiencedchick Thu 11-Jun-15 16:08:22

I felt myself awful seeing how he treated me, and I knew if I don't walk away he will walk all over me.
I stepped back but then got nastiness after that...

WorraLiberty Thu 11-Jun-15 16:10:04

This isn't a man thing.

It's a twattish person thing.

Inexperiencedchick Thu 11-Jun-15 16:16:20

Spell99, yes it's true, it's not only about men...

Should have expressed myself clearly smile

Inexperiencedchick Thu 11-Jun-15 16:25:30

There was a guy I met only once. It was very easy with him.
But I didn't feel the spark.
After a date I sent him an email saying it's not going to work...
He replied: "I thought so too" He wasn't nasty nor he was rude...

And it felt light. I guess I was lucky with him.

MadeMan Thu 11-Jun-15 18:07:37

When I was in my late teens I had an angry possibly half pissed girl turn up outside my mate's front door in the morning shouting abuse and demanding to know where I was after I had turned her advances down in a club the previous night.

It's not only men go mental.

Inexperiencedchick Thu 11-Jun-15 20:02:50

agree with that MadeMan...

Flowerpower41 Fri 12-Jun-15 06:54:47

I agree it can be women sometimes but in general men are much more bound by their ego and prone to turning nasty.

That said not ALL men are bad and us single women do need to remember this. smile

Meerka Fri 12-Jun-15 08:25:32

People hate being told No. Specially if they secretly think they're the bees knees. How dare you say No to them!

Skiptonlass Fri 12-Jun-15 09:15:18

It's not always men, but there is a small subset of entitled man children who are particularly bad at this.
They believe that merely by existing they are owed a hot girl. Movies reinforce this trope - the girl is usually the prize at the end for the hero, even if he's a bit of a twat. You also see the stalking theme in films (Persue her no matter what! She'll cave in the end!)
When men like this get rejected, it goes to their very core and they lash out. It's a disordered thought process: I deserve a hot chick. No, I don't need to work on my personality/general respect for women and humanity. What? She says no? --> all women are bitches.

Men who react violently to rejection are not seeing women as brings with autonomy. They see them as objects they are entitled to possess.

So well done, op. Your arsehole radar is working beautifully

Sweetpea15 Fri 12-Jun-15 11:35:45

You should check out Bye Felipe - people have shared some of the horrible responses they've had after they've rejected someone! Couldn't believe how horrible some of the men were.

teatrailer Fri 12-Jun-15 13:19:23

I was told that I was "A Fucking Lesbian" because I turned down the offer of a dance with a man once, when I was 17. It's just what some men are, and luckily they usually reveal it early.

Cancookdontcook Fri 12-Jun-15 13:36:32

I think it's pure arrogance and control. How dare you not want me? I'll show you.

GrumpleMe Fri 12-Jun-15 14:43:41

A sense of entitlement + a bruised ego = the need to put us in our place.

MadeMan Fri 12-Jun-15 15:59:26

I've posted this clip elsewhere on MN before, but it deserves a re-up for this thread. smile

Sully gets rejected.

Skiptonlass Fri 12-Jun-15 16:50:18

Oh I've had the lesbian comment.

I had the audacity to react when a man shoved his hand down the front of my jeans as I said excuse me and tried to pass him in a crowded bar.

He couldn't quite wrap both his brain cells around the fact that wasn't the world's most alluring come-on.

pretty pathetic isn't it?

Inexperiencedchick Fri 12-Jun-15 19:55:44

I had lesbian comment as well. From coworker who tried to look into my eyes, created some drama just to prove that I fancy him. When he saw my ignorance, without any words like nothing happened He started to call me lesbian... No comment-full ignorance in that as well.
Now he calls me by my full name!

I agree with man child comment otherwise normal grown up man won't act the way they do, just to prove "if not you someone else will do"

Inexperiencedchick Fri 12-Jun-15 19:56:22

The video is great! On the money smile

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