I'm in a bit of a pickle. DP and I together about 18 months. No children but I have a DD who has bonded fairly well with him. Things weren't good for quite a while and we had a big argument a couple of weeks ago that led to him leaving. We were still speaking (by text) but a couple of days later he told me he wanted to end the relationship because he needed to "sort his life out." Then he went out and kissed someone else (more may well have happened, I don't know). Then a week later he changed his mind and decided he wanted to get back together.
However. This past week I've been talking to another man. I've known him for a long time and we have always got on really well, but only really spoke in passing or on Facebook about something we're both big fans of. He has made it clear that he really likes me and thinks we could be good together, and has asked me many times to meet up with him or go out with him. I've told him that I was still speaking to my ex and that nothing was going to happen because I didn't want to mess anybody about, which he took well and said he would back off. But now I can't stop thinking about him.
My DP has since come home and we are supposed to be trying to make it work but I can't help myself comparing him to the "other man." DP and I have few shared interests, shared friends, not much to talk about, whereas the other man and I do. My DP doesn't work (has never been an issue for me as such but has caused a lot of tension in different ways), doesn't drive, doesn't have children of his own so sometimes doesn't understand what it's like - other man does. I don't find the other man as physically attractive as current DP, but current DP rarely wants sex and when he does it's not very good (we have had lots of discussions about this and I told him it was something that made me hesitant to get back together), so it's quite unfortunate that I do find him so attractive!
I don't know what to do. I'm not going to cheat on DP, I'm not really speaking to the other man anymore. But I feel awful for thinking like that, but also like maybe I'm just wasting my time? But then again maybe this is just a passing infatuation-type-thing and should just be ignored until it goes away? Does anyone have any advice?
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What should I do?
11 replies
FanjoBean · 11/06/2015 11:29
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