Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
Anyone who met someone online dating and it led to long-term/marriage/k
ids - stories please?
If you met someone online and it got serious, or you married and had kids...could you tell me your story?
How long did it take?
Which sites do you think are better?
Any general tips?
Split from long term partner of 12 yrs in 2009, joined match in 2010 and met my wife, 5yrs and two kids later we are reasonably happy..
I also joined POF but felt It was full of scratters so didn't use it too much...
Personally I hate profiles with photos that give a false impression (age and size) and photos of people partying, especially ones with bloody wine glasses.. Oh and yes it's amazaballs you have a career and travel experience but don't mention it in every paragraph.. Potential suitors may like to spend time with you, pretty difficult when the profile presents a picture of someone with an already busy life..
Make sure the ex is past tense too, and if your going to cancel, do it, don't mess people around with inane vague texts..
I didn't use online dating as such, however I met my now DH on an nline game called Second Life. We knew each other for years before we met. He moved from Holland to be with me.
We have been together for 5 years now, married for 2 and have 2 DD's. He is an amazing husband and father and I am very lucky to be with him.
Wow frankbough 5yrs and two kids later we are reasonably happy
You really sold it there . After a ringing endorsement like that, I am sure there is going to be a spike in OLD sign ups .
Not me but an ex-colleague met her now-DH on either Match or e-Harmony. They are radiantly happy (if her FB posts are to be believed ) and trying for a baby.
Good luck OP.
My friend met her DH online.. They were both online dating a while (1 year and 3 years). They are happy with a DC now. My friends DHs friend also met his wife online. They also seem happy with DC.
She was on Match and POF.
She did kiss a lot of frogs though and had some amusing stories of strange dates, players and liers (deceiving picturs etc.). She didnt give up and is now happily married.
I'm a realist, not a fantasist, anybody who believes in blissful happiness is heading for a disillusioned marriage.. 2 kids(no sleep), house moves, job changes, family fueds, fall outs with friends, illness and starting two businesses with 2 different upbringings and personalities can make for some interesting clashes and warm loving moments..
Long may it continue..
My relative did. Not sure which site. They went out with each other for a couple of years then got married. Still happy together 10 years on with 2 lovely children. Seen each other through family illness, bereavement and strife. And they are from different continents.
Not mr personally but my best friend met her chap online spoke for 2days then had a date. Met up again few days later andbeen inseperable since been together over 6 years she has 2dc from previous relationship you would never know they arent his proper little family. They got married nearly 3 years ago
You can meet an arsehole on a dating site or down the pub.
The medium of meeting is irrelevant. You must know what you want and have clear boundaries. Simples
Yes, I did. Married seven years, two kids. I ruthlessly weeded out the definite nos, meet the others as soon as possible after first contact, must have be in touch with about fifty altogether before meeting dh. It's hard work and not actually that much fun.
I did too. I met my dh nearly 11 years ago through the dating part of friends reunited. We emailed for a bit then met up and that was that. He was just months out of a 22 year marriage and I was his first date! I had had one other date from the website 6 months before and was on the point of giving up but was persuaded to give it one more go and met my dh. We were very lucky.
I had two children from a previous relationship and he had three so no more kids for us!
It can work out but it can also be a minefield!
I haven't been married from OLD but know three couples who were. All very well matched and happy.
Also...I have been dating online for 18 months and from that I got one marriage proposal. I said no, as I felt it was not 100% right but I would say that from my 18 months of experience I have had:
One long term relationship that almost led to marriage but in the end led to lifelong friendship
Two medium term relationships with great guys I count as friend now and really enjoyed the experience.
A few awful dates.
A few great dates with people it just didn't click with.
One total headf**k of a guy who was playing games and was not who he said he was.
Overall I think that;s pretty good, but OLD is quite exhausting and you have ups and downs...I think overall it's probably a great way to meet someone. It just takes a lot of time and effort.
Yup! Married 6 years. 2 DCs and DC3 on its way. After ending a 7 year relationship, I'd done OLD on and off for around 4 months when we met. I'd had a lot of
shags fun in those 4 months and gained much confidence. Anyway, engaged after 5 months, married after another 9 (would have done it much sooner but didn't want to upset my DB who had been engaged for a long time and set a date). DC1 9 months almost to the day later!
Tips: we met on a site that was geared for our faith. Cannot give much help on that.
Go out with everyone who asks. DH did not appeal to me at first.
Don't spend ages messaging: just meet up asap.
Don't play games or engage in them.
I didn't go for a second date if things had not got physical on the first (snogging counts) as sexual chemistry really really matters to me. If we'd not shagged or got very close to by 3 dates or a couple of weeks ditto really.
Have a recent photo that's flattering but honest. You need to show at least from waist up. No need for it to be sexy. Better if not really. Mine was of me crouching down holding a baby kangaroo in a pillow case. And just you in the photo.
My profile didn't say much about me, more about what I wanted. Men said I came across as confident, independent, thoughtful and not high maintenance. All true. And they found that attractive.
DM met her new husband on a dating site.
they seem happy.
didn't mean to hit send!
think it was plenty of fish she met a few duds but that's to be expected. I know friends in their late 20s who use match.com and love it.
Met DH on Udate in 2002. Together 13 years and married for 10. Two DCs. Went for his profile because he lived abroad and so thought it was harmless! After two months of emailing we met on neutral ground (London) and I had friends round the corner at all times ready to turn up if he seemed like a nutter. I also liked him because he talked about music and other stuff he liked rather than his ideal woman.
Yes I've been with DH 8 years now and he's lovely. DC2 on her way.
There was a LOT of dating before that - some of it fun, some not so much fun, some just bizarre.
Tips - there are, as the name says, plenty of fish. Meaning that if you don't click or if the potential relationship seems to be a struggle and one misunderstanding after another - save your energy and find someone you're more compatible with. You don't have to try to 'make it work'.
There will be a lot of weirdos - rude men, men who contact all women on the site, penis photos. It's not you, it's them, ignore/block and don't give them a second thought.
If you find someone that seems to have potential - I would meet up in real life quite soon (short meeting, daylight, public place). If a guy keeps finding excuses for not meeting, there's probably something going on.
Met my significant ex and my now fiancé through POF. You could just tell from their profiles that they were lovely people, and they were!!
My and DF have been together 3.5 years, one DS, pregnant with no.2 and hopefully getting married next year.
I met and married DH six years ago. Had been OLD on and off for about 18months and met some nice and some not so nice guys. I got DH from seniordatingonline even though I was just 40 mainly because a lot of men wanted bouncy 18 -25 year olds.
My dating advice is that if it looks, sounds and smells like a rat...it is! A genuine guy wont be lying and will be completely transparent in everything he tells you.
BTW, DH and I have 5 kids between us so no more were planned. (PS. dealing with expartners is a completely different minefield)
Met DP on 14th January after a couple of weeks emailing through eHarmony. We decided to move in together the following Christmas and basically between January and Easter I slowly moved into his house. I officially moved in during the Easter break then found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. DD is 18 months old now and things are good.
I have had other LTRs with men I'd met through OLD but this one feels the easiest and I couldn't have had a child with either of the other two. He has proposed as well (did that quite early on!) but I have a bit of an aversion to marriage. Never say never though!
I used to read things like this and think..."this happens to other people"...but then...had just given up with O.L.D, had tried Loopy Love, Guardian Soulmates, even back of the free papers at one point, was on P.O.F just to read the forums as had given up whenI got a message!
Emailed/spoke for a couple of days
1st Date beginning of Nov
Engaged beginning of following February
Bought a house together following February
Got married day of our 5 year anniversary!
Haven't been blessed with babies (yet?) but you never know!
...p.s. I was never going to marry!
As for advice, the only thing I have to say applies to any relationship regardless of how you meet and that's:trust someone until they give you reason not to. This means trust your instincts too. Nature gave you them so use them.
First tried online dating back in early Autumn 2003 on a pissed night with a mate who had signed up to match.com and persuaded me to do it. Got chatty to new decent sounding guys over email. Arranged to meet one of them and intended to meet the other as well. Had a second date with the first and have now been married for 8 years and have 3 kids! Was only on there for a month. Used to joke that DH cost me £18...I do think the online dating field has changed since I used it though. There were a lot of weirdos to fend off and that's probably worse now but even now I am sometimes amazed by how DH 'fit' as personalities because of the info we put on the site which matched us.
Join the discussion
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.