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Whiny shouty fish - yeah that's me !

(16 Posts)
Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Tue 09-Jun-15 21:11:01

Feel like no fucker respects me in this house.

Dd1 treats the place like a hotel, I had her really young and she treats me like one of her peers - unless she needs anything. She won't help around the house, I have to keep asking and asking and asking. Starting of nicely, then a bit more assertive then gradually I get pissed off and shout. It's her shit I'm asking her to clear up. She is 19

I feel that since I gave up work to be a SAHM for dd2 ( my choice we have the money and DH didn't mind) bit by bit DH is losing respect for me. I was very independant when I met him but now I'm not. I don't drive (5 failed tests and still trying) so have to rely on him. He rarely helps out round the house unless I ask him. I don't mind doing the actual house hold chores because I'm here all day but why should I continually pick his shit up that he has left on the floor. Plates, clothes, empty packets. He is now starting to talk over me and questioning me when he really didn't need to.( today at a GP appointment which was fucking embarrasing)

His dad turned up when I had just put dd2 to bed. So she got excited hearing his booming voice and wouldn't settle so I had to bring her down. DH had invited him for dinner. Didn't bother to let me know. Not enough food. Dd2 running round like a manic. I like her in bed for 7. That's my clocking off time. Other wise there is not one minuite of the day where I can just sit in fucking peace.

DH just talked over me again, tried to make me look like an idiot. It was a 'joke' apparently. So called him on it. Said 'why are you trying to make me look like a dick, that's not true" I also called him out about the GP situation and he looked taken back and apologied. But whe this was going in DD1 came in and seen me getting shouty gave me a filthy look and went up stairs. Clearly it's my fault again.

FIL was wandering round I could tell he thought I was losing my marbles. Then came in and said 'it's not worth falling out love' to which I replied it's not about just that its much more. Which makes me look more barmy....

I don't sweat in front of FIL - well I didn't.

Ive always got a mood on me and I'm fed up.
Sorry for the rant

goodcompany2 Tue 09-Jun-15 21:56:59

Hugs. x

Maybe next time say you're just popping out ( walk dog/nip to supermarket/see friend/go to gym/driving lesson/absolutely anything) once little one in bed/unexpected family visit. When you're not there you can't be taken for granted! Let them notice what you do by stopping doing it. Will drive them mad hopefully.

Maybe 'forget' to do stuff for dd1 or delay doing it until you have done the chore she conveniently forgot earlier. e.g. sorry hun, ironing's not done, tea's late, run out of milk etc as I was busy doing xxx which you forgot to do.

Put your feet up and say 'I clock off at 7' !

Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Tue 09-Jun-15 22:02:56

Thanks goodcompany

Feel invisable at the moment. Just having s pity party for 1 !

travertine Tue 09-Jun-15 22:29:38

Can I join you fishwife, huge argument because I changed the channel when he was asleep on the sofa because I don't respect what he wants and I am always wrong and I always talk over him blah blah blah

Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Tue 09-Jun-15 22:31:07

Join away - I should have brought wine

Clearly he has see through eye lids!

travertine Tue 09-Jun-15 22:40:22

Oh do you want red or white? So sky TV in the living room and freeview in the kitchen. So he falls asleep on the sofa in the living room and we are round the table in the kitchen not wanting to watch what we would like because it's his right to be asleep where the main TV and comfort is. And I am the unreasonable one! Thankyou fish I really needed to get that out. And I work full time as does he but my wage is rubbish compares to his so I get to do all the housework too.

Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Tue 09-Jun-15 23:05:30

Well that's another reason I gave up work because I was still doing the majority of the house work and getting a screaming DD ready (when she realised she was going nursary) then rushing off to work - so I thought 'sod it, I'll stay at home' and I regret that now.

Yep my wage was pittance to his too. He has just came back and apologised. angry

I need a holiday - just me. A book, mojito and a sun lounger.......

goodcompany2 Tue 09-Jun-15 23:10:36

Hi. Just drank my wine. Live on own but have kids so same old here too at times. More we do, the more we do! Time to be more selfish ladies. Put some of the effort put into looking after others into looking after yourselves, x

Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Tue 09-Jun-15 23:17:19

Here here good

I'm going to raise DD rent she only pays minimal and she can get her hand in her pocket. Im also not going to cook any separate meals apart from what myself and DD2 are eating. It's not a fucking cafe!

GoatsDoRoam Wed 10-Jun-15 00:55:36

That sounds like a good solid plan, fishwife.

It's also heartening that your DH has apologised.

mommyof23kids Wed 10-Jun-15 07:18:48

It really doesn't take much to keep us mums happy. I'm sure my dh spent many years wondering why I was so often pissed off. Now he can see me getting stressed and will suggest something...a nice lunch out for the two of us or a bath together. It's really not what it is, more that he's noticed and has thought to himself how he can help. Talk to your dh about how you are feeling undervalued. You are the glue that keeps this family together, never forget that.
As for your dd I'd be inclined to discuss it with your dh and every time she leaves crap around and won't clean it up I'd be cleaning it up and locking it in the shed.

PuellaEstCornelia Wed 10-Jun-15 08:14:34

We've got a 'tidy fairy' box. Everything gets lobbed in it, and if it's not removed in 24 hours it goes into the bin. Still remember my 16 year olds hysteria when she thought I'd binned her laptop. (Didn't say I hadn't for two days, she never did that again!) Still remember my OH when he lost his favourite tie because he thought the tidy fairy only applied to the kids.....

Guiltypleasures001 Wed 10-Jun-15 10:11:48

Hi Whiney

Well the worm has turned as they say, good for you. The second thing is who gives a shit what they think because you stood up for yourself. He was shocked you pulled him up on his shit attitude? Good keep doing it it's called setting boundaries, as for the teen well stop doing her clearing up.

My mum got so fed up with my shit she literally threw the lot out of my bedroom window and I found it over the patio, she would never have normally done anything like that but she was at the end of her tether. The time for you to be embarrassed about losing it lovely is long gone and long may the new you reign.

Stop being a martyr wink and start kicking they're arses in to line, sometimes they have to be shown the way or shown the door. thanks And wine

Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Wed 10-Jun-15 13:45:06

The fairytidy box sounds good!

Yep. I've got lamb steaks out so when they get in (staggered times) they can cook their own stuff. No fool can mess a steak and salad up! Then wash their own chuffing plates!

TheSilveryPussycat Wed 10-Jun-15 14:43:13

Does everyone do their own laundry? This was the only thing I managed to get Ex and DC-while-at-home to do for themselves. (We were all slobs, but I seemed to be the only one who wanted a clean house)

Whinyshoutyfishwife1 Wed 10-Jun-15 15:15:43

Nope, I do every thing. Not any more though!

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