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Am I his experiment?

(14 Posts)
patch123 Tue 09-Jun-15 13:45:15

My DP has never had a relationship and is is mid-30's. I have been married and have children. Feels like now he has sexual and relationship experience he will go to either do what normal teenagers do and see lots of different people or just use me to make mistakes and learn how to be a boyfriend and then go on to perfect it with someone else. Could it really last if he's NEVER done this before??

molyholy Tue 09-Jun-15 13:54:19

Has he given you the impression that this is what he wishes to do?

GrumpleMe Tue 09-Jun-15 13:58:15

Why does it feel like he would do that?

BitOutOfPractice Tue 09-Jun-15 14:22:20

What makes you think that?

Lipgloss74 Tue 09-Jun-15 14:30:38

Why has he never had. A relationship before? Was he a virgin when you met then?

SoozeyHoozey Tue 09-Jun-15 14:44:12

My dp was a virgin in his early 30s but he's very committed to me (so far!). It's a lot more common than people think. It doesn't mean he's going to leave you.

flora717 Tue 09-Jun-15 14:47:56

We don't "perfect" our relationship skills just by dating though. So many experiences with people and influence and mature us. How reflective a person is helps too.

daisychain01 Tue 09-Jun-15 15:06:40

do you have low-esteem (thinking that your DP is using you as an 'experiment')?!

Is there any reason you feel he would prefer to think about his next conquest, rather than enjoying his time with you.

It sounds like a journey towards devaluing his feelings for you (poor him) - unless of course, he has already indicated that's how he feels, in which case maybe you should question why you would want to be in the relationship that makes you feel that way.

Owllady Tue 09-Jun-15 15:08:57

Is he an engineer?

Gilrack Tue 09-Jun-15 15:12:24

Unless he's been in prison or something, he's had the option of forming sexual relationships before. Do you know why he chose not to?

MerdeAlor Tue 09-Jun-15 15:15:54

Is he an engineer? shock grin grin

Gilrack Tue 09-Jun-15 15:19:58

oh ... you're not dating that chap whose mother posted all over the internet about how to find him a girlfriend, are you? wink shock grin

goddessofsmallthings Tue 09-Jun-15 15:21:00

I expected this post to be about a Frankenstein-minded male who was intent on making you over into his fantasy woman with big boobs and an even bigger booty. smile

Some folk mate for life without having experienced any other sexual relationships and have no inclination to do so. Others become like kids let loose in a sweet shop enthused at the prospect of having multiple sexual partners after having tasted the forbidden fruit, so to speak.

You're better placed than any here to judge whether he's likely to use you to gain experience before launching himself into other women as a fully accomplished man of the world and some, including myself, would say that this is a risk that comes with the territory of experienced female/inexperienced male and vice versa.

Are your dc teenagers? If so, the time to worry will be when he buys a crate of hooch strong lager and joins them on the village rec.

RubbishMantra Tue 09-Jun-15 16:11:36

Did it occur to you that he didn't meet anyone he wanted a relationship with until he met you?

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