I divorced my ex husband nine years ago when he had a hidious violent outburst and I discovered his affair .at the time I had a one year old and a six year old and no family of my own for support. His family , the children's grandparents and the children's aunts and uncles all walked away from me and the children , u would not believe how much this has hurt us all especially my daughter who loved her nanny and grandad. They hv never ever sent a card or present for any of the children's birthdays or xmas . Well yesterday I saw my ex sister in law by chance , and I asked her why they had made such a painful decision , she said my ex said we had had a dreadful marriage for years and that I had stopped him seeing the children so he had had to give up on them too!! They believed this and that's why they chose to stay out of it !!!!what do you think ?
my ex did something v similar, so I can full well belive it, it doesnt excuse them from not finding out them selfs but did make it hurt less knowing that they had been fooled and now had their eyes open.
if they want contact let them do the chasing, they know the truth now so its upto them to sstep up, if they dont, well youv done great without them so far and youll continue to
It is sad but people will believe those that are blood, it is an easy way out than having to think and realise that a loved one is less than perfect abusive knob. Closing ranks stops them from having to look at the families dynamics.
Your all right , I will let them choose if if they contact and then maybe if the see me and the children around they can feel ashamed as oppose to the making me feel bad for looking after and loving my children and leaving their abusive brother x
I think it would be more straightforward if you were to just write to them, saying that your ex behaved like this and therefore you took the children and yourself out of harm's way, that you had not intended to deprive your children of knowing their wider family and now you know that terrible lies have been told you hope that you can all mend the relationships. Your children love their relatives and you would like to rekindle it.
Thank you for your support, it would've so nice if the children could have some kind of family as they lost their grandparents, 2 sets of aunts and uncles and three cousins in this , that's what lies did . Time to move on xxx