The female 'best friend'

[DubbyDubby]

Can I get your opinions on this please. I've started seeing a bloke recently. It's pretty casual but I like him. He seems to like me. I'm 35 and he's 36.

So he told me about his best friend, a female, and how they used to shag. He even got her pregnant at one point, but she lost the baby. They see each other all time, cosy pics on FB etc. She's a model (FFS!). She has a key to his apartment etc.

He also told me some story about how stupid her (fairly recent) ex was as he never realised the two of them were shagging even though it was obvious.

The whole thing has really thrown me. I don't know what to make of the 'best friend you used to shag' scenario. He said he hasn't shagged her for a while but he would say that wouldn't he? Don't know what to do now. Should I just knock it on the head? I feel like I'm going to get hurt by this..

Am I overreacting being bothered by this?

[Lovingfreedom]

Female best friend in itself not a problem...even an attractive one. But the bit where he says stupid ex didn't realise they were shagging tells you what kind of person he is...dishonest and not very scrupulous. I'd ditch him.

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

He sounds like a twat and you should walk away.

[badbaldingballerina123]

She's not a best friend. She's an ex who he had an affair with.

[winkywinkola]

He sounds horrible.

[Tequilashotfor1]

They are still shagging. She has the key so she can let her self straight in to his bed.

Don't even go there!

[ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets]

Walk away.

[RubbishMantra]

He seems to be crowing a bit much over the whole thing.

[MatildaTheCat]

They may not be shagging right now but I bet he's not going to say no if she gives him the nod.

Ditch, it won't end well.

[SoozeyHoozey]

Knock it on the head. Don't get caught up in their weird set up. You'll just end up a casualty.

[longlistofexlovers]

She's not a best friend if he shagged her. They were friends with benefits, if not in a relationship.

You don't shag genuine mates.

[DubbyDubby]

that's right, I've just remembered - he said it was a friends with benefits set up with his best friend.

[pictish]

Well he's certainly not a gentleman is he? I can't believe he has relayed all this to you of all people!
What did he hope to gain by it?

[Skiptonlass]

Your instincts are correct. Knock it on the head.

[DubbyDubby]

I think he's one of those people who likes to shock to get a reaction. he's told me loads of stories which have made me go . he's very sweet and affectionate with me the rest of the time.

[TheFlis12345]

My best friend is a guy. In the 20 years we've known each other we have never had so much as a drunken snog. This sounds like one whole big mess that you would be better off out of.

[Cantbelievethisishappening]

He sounds like a real catch

[DancingDinosaur]

My dh had a best friend with benefits. I was a bit suspicious of it all, but I've grown to really like and trust the friend. It doesn't sound good about him boasting about shagging her whilst she's with someone else though. Have you met her?

[pictish]

When someone tells you who they are, listen to them.
People define themselves by the stories they tell...so he's giving you what he thinks is his best side. He's promoting the qualities he admires.
Bear that in mind when you're listening to his patter.

[DubbyDubby]

Ha. I've only seen him 3 times. tbh I thought his stories were generally just bravado shite but this one has really thrown me.

[DubbyDubby]

I feel like all she would have to do is click her fingers and he'll be there. all her FB pics are super sexy. all mine are boring as hell!

[GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt]

He sounds grim. I think pictish has it.

[mojo17]

Can you ask him why he told you
What does see happening between you two, you three and those two?

[DubbyDubby]

no I haven't met her. and I don't want to now!

[pompodd]

I'm astonished that you need to even ask! And I'm a man!

[Twinklestein]

3 dates you've not lost anything.