Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

New to online dating... what would you think to this

(42 Posts)
yourcoatisred Mon 08-Jun-15 09:13:25

Speaking to a guy who seems lovely. He is 34, I'm 27.

From what I can tell so far, he seems pretty normal..sees family, friends, owns a home etc. But he makes jewelry in his spare time as a hobby. This has made me feel a bit weird. Is this me being picky, what do you all think?

As far as I know he doesn't sell it.

yourcoatisred Mon 08-Jun-15 09:14:25

ps. I like my men to be quite manly... and this, to me, doesn't say 'man.'! Perhaps that's unfair of me and I'm missing an opportunity if I curtail on this basis.

undoubtedly Mon 08-Jun-15 09:16:11

You're being picky.

He could make some jewellery for you - what's not to like?

PresidentTwonk Mon 08-Jun-15 09:17:13

Aren't lots of jewellery makers men? Every time I've been to a jewellers to get a ring resized or a watch link taken out etc (to local independent jewellers) they've been men (four or five different jewellers).

yourcoatisred Mon 08-Jun-15 09:19:05

Maybe, but in their spare time as a hobby? It seems VERY feminine!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Mon 08-Jun-15 09:19:09

If you're just chatting it's perfectly fine to bin for any reason or none. I wouldn't have an issue with jewellery making as a hobby but if it was awful fimo stuff or horrible avant gard fake arty stuff and he took it really seriously I might reconsider. Anyway point is don't take the chatting stage seriously at all.

Cancookdontcook Mon 08-Jun-15 09:23:27

Funnily enough I just reread a profile of someone I arranged to meet and it says he likes cooking (ok fair enough,) and sewing and knitting. It has put me off.

So I know exactly what you mean!

PresidentTwonk Mon 08-Jun-15 09:25:37

What kind of jewellery making is it though? Stringing beads on jewellery wire or soldering big hunks of metal into big chunky rings with his top off? grin blush

yourcoatisred Mon 08-Jun-15 09:25:52

knitting??! I would be put off by that, too...

yourcoatisred Mon 08-Jun-15 09:27:03

president I'm not sure exactly. I will ask. But he also mentioned something about starting an art class where he was working on felt pieces, which were a favourite. Maybe I'm being too critical. And a PP is right that we are only talking.

molyholy Mon 08-Jun-15 09:28:17

I don't know why, but it would depend on the jewellery. If he was sat there as a PP said, surrounded by beads and string, it would put me off too grin

OnBlueDolphinStreet Mon 08-Jun-15 09:32:50

Maybe he's said that to see if you're narrow-minded and judgemental.

PresidentTwonk Mon 08-Jun-15 09:34:00

If it puts you off him then it puts you off him, you're not wrong for feeling that way, you don't owe him anything and being 'picky' isn't a bad thing! If you like everything else about him, maybe find out what kind of jewellery he makes and see if it's something you can put up with (I'm going to go with beads and string though after the felt revelation grin).

yourcoatisred Mon 08-Jun-15 09:34:03

I clearly am in that case, oneblue!

shirleybasseyslovechild Mon 08-Jun-15 09:36:31

massive red flag.
Classic passive aggressive abuser hobby .
he's gas lighting you wink

Lovingfreedom Mon 08-Jun-15 09:36:39

You're new to online dating and you're chatting to a guy...he doesn't seem to be coming across as your to a few more guys and see what happens.

PresidentTwonk Mon 08-Jun-15 09:36:44

It may be narrow minded and judgmental but when it comes to dating someone (someone who could turn out to be your husband/wife) being picky is no bad thing! Better to ask now than start a thread in six years 'AIBU to strangle my husband with his own jewellery making wire if he gives me one more bloody bead necklace he's made himself' etc etc. if at the 'talking in online dating' stage there's something putting you off imagine how it'll be after a year, two, five, ten.....

ProfessorPickles Mon 08-Jun-15 09:41:35

I'd say any hobby is a good sign, the bad relationships I've had were with men who's hobbies were sitting watching TV and getting hammered grin they had nothing going on. People with hobbies and interests seem to be a little more well rounded.
That may be a sweeping generalisation but it's something I've noticed!

So jewellery making would be attractive to me, but I'm arty smile

Lipgloss74 Mon 08-Jun-15 09:45:43

What would you rather he did as a hobby? Football hooligan lol x

Cancookdontcook Mon 08-Jun-15 09:54:40

That's a good point professor.

My ex's hobby seemed to be driving around aimlessly waiting for me to come home from work then knocking the door pretending to be on the area. In other words, he had no friends and no hobbies.

If I texted him on his day off and asked what he was doing, he would say 'nothing.' I came to learn he actually meant literally nothing except sitting in his living room for a whole day in the dark.

Think of how many bangles he could have made in that time.

DriftingOff Mon 08-Jun-15 09:57:29

I know a bloke who's a jewellery designer. As far as I can tell, earns fairly good money (him and his wife live a fairly standard middle class lifestyle, but she has a good, well-paid job as well). He works from home, so can help out with school drop-off/pick-ups etc. Your internet man could end up turning his hobby into a thriving business, so definitely wouldn't be a turn-off for me.

ProfessorPickles Mon 08-Jun-15 10:01:35

Cancook that made me laugh, he could have made MANY bangles in that time, what a waste grin

Lavenderice Mon 08-Jun-15 11:47:10

Personally I think you are being massively judgemental, but that's up to you. If he doesn't tick your boxes move on.

MelodyPM Mon 08-Jun-15 12:08:05

If a potential date of mine told me his hobby was jewellery making that would suggest he was artistic, creative and good with his hands. Leave this man for someone who appreciates that, I'd say.

FWIW, my friend's DH likes to crossdress and loves tactical warfare computer games, so I don't think someone's hobby is necessarily an indication of how manly or effeminate they are!

ludovica Mon 08-Jun-15 12:35:26

I think silversmithing is quite dirty and requires a degree of brute force? You sound a bit sexist op. Besides, it is always nice if a chap is good with his hands, I find.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now