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Hopeless ! What is etiquette these days?

(27 Posts)
RubyMay82 Sun 07-Jun-15 22:03:16

Know someone through a "hobby"
See them 2-3x a week,
Chat a bit (nothing heavy) outside of this,
Very handsome boy so I was child free on Friday which is very rare, messaged him, we went out for drinks.
Had a brilliant time.
I stayed over.
He messaged me yesterday couple times.
Saw him today.. All good.
Now I'm like what now.
Not looking for a big relationship but we had fun.
I'm quite laddy but don't think it would be wise to message & say hey when can we do that again,
What now?
Do I sit & hope he messages me or draw a line?

ALaughAMinute Sun 07-Jun-15 22:12:36

Why not message him? What's the problem?

Trills Sun 07-Jun-15 22:15:19

What do YOU want out of this?

Decide that first.

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 22:20:05

it's only been a day, as I understand, since getting together - what's hte big rush to know 'what now'? I'd leave the next step to him, just to give him a bit of breathing space. If he doesn't suggest anything else (I think he will!) then you can message him and see what happens.

RubyMay82 Sun 07-Jun-15 22:20:43

He is very hot I fancy him lots which is refreshing as I've kind of been off the opposite sex since I had my little one (she's 2)

So in a nutshell I would like to shag him again. Lots!

I don't want to message him & seem too keen but I don't want to not message & not seem keen!

I know it seems teenager but I'm out of practice & thinks are so complicated these days.

If I didn't see him 2/3x a week I would be way more blunt but maybe he just saw it as a drunken shag & no more which I can handle but not if I chase him / get knocked back

RubyMay82 Sun 07-Jun-15 22:22:47

I agree !
No rush...
He's been very flirty up until now so it'll either continue in a similar vein or it won't,

Like I say I'm out of practice & also very impatient which is never cool!

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 22:25:46

was he still very flirty today? if yes, I'm sure it will continue. As you'ver initiated it last time he may think you enjoy being in charge, he may love it, so I wouldn't say never message him, but I'd give it a few days as he needs to know you like being chased too!

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 22:27:08

out of interest, what do you call 'very flirty'? compliments? asking as I'm also out of practice and need to read people's non-verbal signals better!

RubyMay82 Sun 07-Jun-15 22:31:05

That's the thing I definitely took charge on Friday & it went great so hoping we can have some fun.

He's a decent lad & like I say I reallllly fancy him.

Well it's hard to describe without sounding stupid,
stuff like when we are at this "hobby" if he comes over to say hi it's hi & a little rub on my shoulder - that sounds so creepy ! A tap? A pat? Lol

Often this "hobby" results in a few of us being tagged in things/ banter in Facebook & there's always innuendo.

We chat as well, just standard chit chat.

I suppose it would just be nice for him to make the next move.

I'm worried I was too blasé & played it too cool !

blueshoes Sun 07-Jun-15 22:31:51

I would agree with beagle to hang back. Give him a chance to show his hand.You see 2-3x a week through the hobby anyway so it is not as if you will lose touch.

If he never takes the initiative, then a relationship is out. You might be able to suggest a friend with benefits arrangement and see if he bites if you offer sex without the commitment.

Branleuse Sun 07-Jun-15 22:34:27

text him tomorrow, exactly as you would before any shagging happened

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 22:51:33

sounds like he really fancies you too! all the touching and innuendo. When did you play too cool? today after you've slept with him? that's better than doing the opposite grin! I wouldn't worry about that, he's not ahy type going by your description so playing a little cool wouldn't harm your chances! what was he like today?

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 22:52:06

'a shy', not 'ahy'!

RubyMay82 Sun 07-Jun-15 22:54:23

Just the same as always today,
Wasn't awkward at all.
He definitely does fancy me, that sounds arrogant but you just know..
Or did if I've not managed to put him off on Friday.
I'm gonna have to be patient & see what happens naturally.

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 22:57:06

so you mean you've played too cool by being 'as usual' as if nothing happened and not talked about you hot date? He didn't either, I think it's all good. Wait at least till tomorrow see what he does.
I feel for you as I have no patience whatsoever myself!

RubyMay82 Sun 07-Jun-15 23:01:58

He messaged me yesterday to say well done as I had to leave & do something quite important !
I said thanks for the enjoyable....drink
He was like yes it was interesting to say the least.

Today no chatting in person just a hello & a goodbye but I didn't go out my way & like I said no awkwardness so all good!

If I didn't have to see him so often, worry about making that situation awkward I would just message him & ask for round 2 but theres always that self doubt creeps in & the chance you've totally misread it!

I am cool if nothing comes of it, I would like it to but won't lose any sleep.

I just like knowing what's what & cant be bothered with faffing !

beaglesaresweet Sun 07-Jun-15 23:19:55

no I think you have not misread anything, you say yourself he fancies you and he sounded happy in his texts after dtd, so why would you worry so far? did you hope he'd be more intense after Friday? more texts? it may well come and he is also holding back a bit not to appear uncool. Yes, it's faff but it's only been one day!

RubyMay82 Mon 08-Jun-15 19:20:18

Been chatting away today like usual
Slightly concerned it's heading in the friend zone direction !
I don't want to be friends unless it's naked friends !

beaglesaresweet Mon 08-Jun-15 19:25:56

so no flirting today? a bit odd that he's not warmer/happier towards you than before. he could be thinking on the lines of FWoccasionalB.

RubyMay82 Mon 08-Jun-15 20:30:14

It's so hard to tell like I say I'm crap at this sort of thing !
I like to call a spade a spade but ding want to scare the poor bugger off

beaglesaresweet Mon 08-Jun-15 21:06:35

I'd wait till he suggests to meet up again - for a few days (I know it's PITA), if he doesn't you have not much to lose by asking him whether he's up for a repeat date - he may be thinking a once a week shag. It all depends what do you want - if it's casual fwb then just suggest it to him in a few days, put your cards on the table, if more, I wouldn't chase him now - if he wants more he will offer of not, you can at least appear laid-back about it.

Anomaly Mon 08-Jun-15 22:16:33

I wouldn't play it too cool. You like him a lot let him know its flattering and he may be too embarassed to tell you he likes you. The worst that will happen is that he'll turn you down but you never know it could work out. In my experience being keen won't scare off someone keen on you.

0x530x610x750x630x79 Mon 08-Jun-15 22:22:08

always hated playing it cool, hated "playing" anything to be honest (except proper games with a printed rulebook that everyone can read and fully understand).
If I was you, i would just say something like, "can't wait till the next time I have a whole night to myself"

RubyMay82 Tue 09-Jun-15 11:41:33

That's the thing I very rarely do have a night to myself & it's always pre arranged, know what like when you have wee ones.
No such thing as spontaneous !
I'll see him tonight eek.
I shall do my best to remain breezy but not so breezy I am standoffish !

cleanmyhouse Tue 09-Jun-15 12:09:42

I'm not sure you should be too breezy. If you've been forward and flirty and you take a step back, he might read it wrong and think you've gone off him.

It's a minefield!

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