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New relationships

(4 Posts)
Applecrumbling Sat 06-Jun-15 22:52:27

I'm divorced after 13 years together and I've had an on/off relationship for 4 years which I ended in December. I'm a single parent, work, own house etc do ok.
My confidence feels destroyed and I have very low self esteem. When I meet men who I like it triggers huge anxiety and is really frustrating. I feel I lose myself, can't think clearly, am distracted! Hate it. I feel like I say things I wouldn't normally and make a fool of myself. What helps? Is this normal? I'm nearly 40 FFS and I need to master this as don't want to be single forever!

excitedbutscared Sun 07-Jun-15 00:43:28

I'm exactly the same as you and going through the same with DP of just over a year.

It's like a sickness, that I wish there was a cure for!!! I can see this relationship ending because I'm going to sabotage it myself! I love being with him, but am constantly anxious, scared, paranoid and it's making me miserable.

The only thing I have found that has helped has been reading lots of online blogs and advice sites on the subject - and keeping busy! I know everyone says that, and if like me, you get distracted by thinking about it every 2 minutes, you'll know it's not that easy

Spend time with girlfriends, get to the gym, look good, feel good etc. If you find the answer - share it with me!! x

MrsGills Sun 07-Jun-15 11:43:50

Snap! You could be writing about me!
The emotions are strange and powerful and can make me feel ill. I've thought recently that it's probably easier being totally alone than feeling paranoid and jealous.
I'm trying to work on my own self confidence. It's taken a couple of hits recently!
Good luck to you both x

Applecrumbling Mon 08-Jun-15 12:27:14

Well at least I'm not alone. Always good to hear others have experienced the same. Some women seem to remain super cool. I'm beginning to think I just won't put myself through it anymore. Think the key is to concentrate on myself and just be me/ get a better understanding of myself. Good luck to you both too. Sometimes wonder if a person makes you feel this way/ has this effect then perhaps he is just not the right match.

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