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Terrified of potential conflict when DH returns from working away and we discuss our failing marriage.

(4 Posts)
badgardener69 Fri 05-Jun-15 22:36:50

Hi all, my husband is working abroad for two weeks, due back next weekend. After this he will be at home (working) for a month or so, then working abroad for much of the summer. I want to tell him our marriage is over. This is not a new topic for us. What I am really uptight about right now is getting him to agree on our future plans BEFORE we talk to the kids (DS13 & 8), especially as splitting will probably involve a geographic move, & new schools. Our older boy has suspected Aspergers. Lots of issues at home already managing his anxieties and various quirks, and don't want to add to difficulties by doing this in a messy way. Also don't know how we are going to handle all being in the house together for this month once the lids off this situation.

Inexperiencedchick Sat 06-Jun-15 11:53:16

I'm sorry that you are having this in your life.

Not much of help here but flowers for you as a support.

Whatever happens just stay strong and don't allow self pity and feeling miserable...

If you think it's over I guess it is. And if you came to this decision then best of luck in arranging all the practicalities and having strong spirit.

I guess you will need the latter a lot, x

Peckhamplex Sat 06-Jun-15 12:59:41

Sounds very stressful and I feel for you. You can only do what you can though, and you will do your best for you and your kids. Some if it is up to him though. To some extent that's out of your power to control.

Making a plan before telling the kids is eminently reasonable, I hope he sees that too.

Good luck! I'm sure you're doing the right thing.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sat 06-Jun-15 19:10:53

I can't be much help emotionally, but can I suggest starting a course of ADs? Prior to the deaths of both my parents I went on Seroxat, so that I could manage the practicalities. Much easier to peel apart DF's accounts without the veil of tears, and when DM went there was less likelihood of discomforting the dying.

You'll need to mourn your lost love at some point, but splitting up needs a clear head.

And record everything.

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