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Drunk texting...does it mean anything when your ex does this?

(17 Posts)
DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 16:58:28

I am still in love with my ex, and every time he gets drunk he texts me or tries to see me (never for sex) and I was just wondering...

Do you think it means he still cares?

I ended things with him after only a short relationship because I felt he was treating me as an option rather than a main priority. He's a bit of a "lad", "eternal bachelor" and early on in the relationship I wounded his pride and he never really let it go.

I haven't contacted him for a couple of months now, but he always contacts me at midnight or later on Friday or Saturday nights when he's had a few.

I just wanted to know if this means he probably misses me too? I can't get him out of my mind.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 05-Jun-15 17:01:22

Well, he probably does still 'care' in that he likes you and is sexually attracted to you. But he probably still isn't inclined to commit to you as a life partner.

Are you in your early 30s and keen to marry and have babies, by any chance? Not everyone is keen to commit after a short relationship and that's not a bad thing but quite a sensible attitude.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 17:05:28

No, I'm 35 and already have my "baby", and he is 41 and already has had his too so not desperate to be committed to or anything.

I don't mean commitment in terms of marriage and long range, I meant more than he was unreliable and those sorts of things.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 17:06:04

Sorry my child isn't 41! the man is. My child's 11

ALaughAMinute Fri 05-Jun-15 17:10:59

"early on in the relationship I wounded his pride and he never really let it go."

It could mean he still cares about you or it could mean he wants to even the score.

I think if he was interested in seeing you again he would text you when he was sober.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 17:14:15

I have good reason to be quite annoyed at him, so I was holding out for a sober apology.

I keep getting the drunk texts which say stuff on the basic lines of "ok, you win, I want you back" and I sort of reply to talk to he sober, and he never does.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 17:15:03

I apologised already for my wrong doing earlier and worked to make amends. He's the most pig headed person ever and never apologises.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 17:16:22

And what people say when drunk the truth? as a rule?

RedRugNoniMouldiesEtc Fri 05-Jun-15 17:22:33

No it isn't the truth. People tend to be more self serving and short sighted when drunk so they may tell the "truth" in so far as it gets them what they want at the moment in time. I'd say he wants you on tap for booty call with feelings. He wants you back at that time thats all. if it was more than that he'd do more than text and do it when he was sober. I'm guessing that's not what you want to hear though.

akaWisey Fri 05-Jun-15 17:23:58

I think drunk texting is just....texting when you're drunk OP. In my experience people tend to talk a lot of bollocks when they've had a few and this bloke hasn't given any sign when he's sober that he really speaks the truth when he's drunk IYSWIM.

Anyway - you don't want someone who can only tell you how they 'really' feel when they're pissed, do you? Come to think of it do you want someone who gets drunk as regularly as that? Is that a loveable trait?

If you've good reason to be annoyed at him and you already know he's not interested in what you want channel your energies towards other things for a while and block him. He won't change.

ALaughAMinute Fri 05-Jun-15 17:24:05

If you've already asked him to text you when he's sober and he hasn't then I'd say he's not interested. If you need an apology and he hasn't given you one, move on.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 18:41:49

I just saw a thing on Facebook that said "Drunk words are sober thoughts" and wondered if maybe it meant I should listen to him.

He's the kind of man who'd go a lifetime with regret rather than make himself vulnerable, so I'm sure he'd never say anything sober.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 05-Jun-15 19:27:47

He doesn't sound worth bothering with TBH. Not unless you fancy a not-very-satisfying drunk shag.

EponasWildDaughter Fri 05-Jun-15 19:27:47

If a simple apology is that hard to wrangle out of him (sober or drunk - ''you win'' in not an apology) then he doesn't sound worth the effort OP.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 19:31:35

Yes that was why I dumped him. I suppose it would just be nice to think he missed me. Sounds silly, but I cared a lot about him.

bjrce Fri 05-Jun-15 19:50:07

Next time he sends a drunken text, Text back, "Do you mind not sending me drunken texts, I am with someone right now"
It will drive him crazy!
For the record, he's not worth the time of day, guys like him are very " its all about me".
He thinks you'll be delighted he's texting you, that he's "still thinking of you". He's an arsehole. Believe me I know.
You did the right thing getting rid of him, he sounds very immature for 41.

DontHassleMe Fri 05-Jun-15 19:55:57

He is.

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