Redundancy and how to cope.

[Roseformeplease]

Firstly, it is not me. Also, they have been "redeployed" ie, moved to another school. One is in a different subject area, hates the school, and is glad to go. The other is my closest colleague, pal, partner in crime and wonderful colleague.

It has hit me really, really hard. She has, of course, been magnificent, dignified and strong. I am trying so hard not to make it all about me but I am heartbroken. My workload will nearly double and I will be massively stressed which is going to be very tough. I tried to get her to let me fight, and DH is in fighting now (as it affects our children, he is at a parents' meeting). But, how has anyone gone to work when their job is safe (but much more shit) and their colleague is being shat all over.

Be gentle. I know I am being selfish and it is not about me but I can't stop crying.

[SelfLoathing]

No idea but would guess that grief stage management is probably not that off the wall here and may be appropriate.

Google it - all that stuff about denial/anger/bargaining/acceptance.

It's a crap situation and best wishes to your friend.

It will take time but when the moments right encourage her to take it as an opportunity to follow her dreams and her true passions.

[Plarail123]

I had a job where almost everyone went except me as I was on Mat leave and got redeployed. It was never the same again I'm afraid. Some colleagues are just special and make a job what it is. Sorry

[thecolourpink]

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I'm going to trot out a few clichés now, but they are true. Every cloud has a silver lining. When one door closes another opens. Please try and look at this in a positive light.

Even if you end up leaving due to the job turning poo, you could end up somewhere better and your friend could too.

I speak from personal experience, my dh was made redundant and while we were gutted at the time, it was the best thing that happened as he's in an even better job now that he wouldn't have had if he'd stayed where he was.

The other thing to remember is that things are always changing, nothing is ever set in stone.

Maybe try taking some Kalms? They're a herbal remedy which work for me when I feel stressed/ worried.
Good luck.

[Roseformeplease]

Thanks all. Managed, just about, to work today by avoiding anyone who would bring up the subject and burying myself in work. Lovely colleague doesn't work on Fridays. Also DH fought a huge battle at a meeting about it last night (as a parent) in order to try to get things reversed. Interestingly, the school is being 'given' a computer per pupil, the combined cost of which would have paid her for at least another year. Let's just hope the devices can teach, encourage pupils and mark work.

I think the grief analogy is an interesting one. Yes, there is always change but this feels like ripping the guts out of the place.

[Womby]

Hi - I'm in the position of your close colleague/friend at the moment. I work in education and I am being made redundant after over a decade working for my employer (along with many other colleagues). I am currently working my notice period.

I have a great pal there who we both know will be dumped with some of my work when I go (even though her job is different to mine). She has been wonderfully supportive and empathetic but although I'm the one losing my job I feel really bad for her too as she will be left there in a organisation with very low morale and with the stress of having even more work added (even though she is up to eyes already) and she won't have me around to let off steam to. (Mirroring of what you have said is happening to you).

I hope it helps a little to know that there are others going through the same thing. Sadly this is happening throughout education at the moment as Government cuts continue to bite hard and the costs of employing people continue to rise (huge hikes in National Insurance for example) and increasing pension costs.

I know it's not the same but I'm sure your friend will always be on the end of the phone/email for you when you are stressed and hopefully you live close enough to each other to be able to meet outside of work once she departs. If you find that you are still unhappy when the dust settles, start casting your eyes around for alternative employment - it's far easier to do so from a position of still being in work.

Best wishes to you.

[m0therofdragons]

I've been through a number of redundancy processes and the time I was made redundant was fine and worked out well. Being the one left behind to pick up the pieces is horrible so you're not being selfish at all.
I really take the attitude that some things you can control but others you can't so just have to take a deep breath, be yourself and keep going. Wait for it all the calm down and take stock and look at what you'd like to achieve. Always good to reassess. If all else fails, chocolate and ice cream work well

[Roseformeplease]

Sadly, she seems resigned to her situation and just feels unwanted. I am applying for a promotion I won't get on the off chance it means they have to keep her to, potentially, cover my increased workload. But, not much hope.

I hate that I can fight it quite hard, and may even win, but she is just giving up.

So sad. Trying to remain professional at courteous at work but the bastards who did this need to be under my patio.