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Lonely and going to get lonelier...when will it get easier?

(3 Posts)
bleaktimesahead Wed 03-Jun-15 12:00:39

I am feeling a constant sense of worry and stress at the moment. I left my h a few months ago and have 2 small dcs and live in a foreign country. I have been coping mostly through spending time with a guy who has been a good friend and more than a friend to me. We have feelings for each other and really he has helped me get through this very difficult period. Now he has to leave and though I am sure we will stay in touch and maybe in the future something will happen, I am now facing a very difficult time.

I have no close friends or family here. I have some sort of friends but no-one I feel I really connect with or get on with that well. Often spending time with other people leaves me feeling bad or drained, I think I am quite introverted. I work so I do spend time around other people and of course my dcs are my priority out of work but they do spend every other we with their father and I just feel like I am really headed for a sad and lonely time.

I am trying to be strong but I suppose everything is catching up on me a bit. Does anyone have any suggestions of how I could help myself?

pallasathena Wed 03-Jun-15 20:21:46

You need to get positive, get confident and find a hobby or interest that will lead you to a new friendship group. I've lived and worked overseas and know how devastating it can be when people you care about move on. It can become all consuming and leave you feeling depressed if you dwell on it too much.

But this too will pass.

Put yourself and the children first. Join a book club or a fitness group.Give yourself a makeover if it would help you feel better. Build your career and make a conscious decision to count your blessings. Before you know where you are, there will be someone new on the horizon and just maybe, he'll be Mr Right this time.

You're stronger than you know.

Loval Wed 03-Jun-15 22:26:45

pallasathena's advice is excellent.
Joining a book club changed my life, and I'd pooh-poohed the idea for about a year.
Don't underestimate the emotional impact of separation and divorce either. It can be very tough even for the person who wanted the split. My anxiety levels went through the roof during the first year of separation.
Take care of yourself.

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