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Really bad PND should i be mad??

(12 Posts)
MissFruits Tue 02-Jun-15 21:56:56

First off I am sorry for typos and bad grammer, really ill at the mo.

I have a 7 monthth old Ds and am suffering with pnd. I am also have really bad flu at the mo and and am struggling. Today I begged my dp for help because I felt like I couldn't cope. I asked him to stay home from work tonight to help with the baby as I am so ill I can't keep my emotions in check and am constantly crying. He said he couldn't miss work and that he had spoken to mil and she would have ds.. All good. I have had my Facebook deactivated for awhile but thought I would log in tonight because normally mil posts lovely pics of ds when she has him and I thought it would make me feel better seeing him happy at nannys. It turns out there is a pic of ds saying all bathed and ready for bed posted by a women dp works with!! I have meet here many times she has 3 dc and is a brilliant mum so I know ds is more than safe, but he has lied to me about where he is!! Am i being unreasonable to be so upset, its so hard to tell at the moment because I accept I am out of whack.

I am on medication and awaiting counselling for my pnd

QuiteLikely5 Tue 02-Jun-15 22:09:45

Strange. Have you talked to your dh

roofio87 Tue 02-Jun-15 22:16:55

I would be angry too. like you say, you know he has left him somewhere he will be happy and safe, but the fact that he has lied is not on. you have the right to know where your son is. why do you think he lied? would you have been happy if you knew he had arranged for your ds to stay with this woman? hope you can get some rest

MissFruits Tue 02-Jun-15 22:28:39

He has just phoned me from work and I asked if ds is ok at mil and he said yes she loves having him ect.. So he is definitely lieing to me! I just don't get why or if I am over reacting? I will ask him out right when he gets in but I also feel like throwing his stuff out of the door? Its not ok is it?

griselda101 Tue 02-Jun-15 22:32:08

yes it is completely unacceptable, how dare he lie about where your child is? Doesn't matter that it's with someone you trust, the prinicple is why would he feel the need to lie? I would be livid personally... this is your child, you have a right to know exactly where he is at all times.

MissFruits Tue 02-Jun-15 22:46:42

Thank you, I have been having a hard time working out if I am over reacting or not, its nice to have some reassurance that I haven't completely lost it

griselda101 Tue 02-Jun-15 22:52:11

you have every right to be angry...I would be!

sorry to hear you are poorly, I hope you are feeling better soon and I know what it's like having PND and no sleep and ilness etc. Nightmare

Hope it goes ok with your DP. xx

MissFruits Tue 02-Jun-15 22:55:00

Thank you xx I don't know what I am going to do when he gets in. The way a feel right now I don't want him here

griselda101 Tue 02-Jun-15 23:01:57

I'm sure he had some sort of strange reason for lying, that's not a good excuse for his behaviour, but as you're not in a good way right now maybe it's not a good time to go ballistic at him as you will end up feeling much worse.

I suggest a quick chat but try to stay calm and don't let it escalate into a row, you don't need that right now as you're poorly. Calmly ask him to sleep on the sofa or something. Sleep on it and discuss it further in the morning when you're feeling better and can get your head around it!.


MissFruits Tue 02-Jun-15 23:13:15

Yes maybe waiting until the morning when I have slept and he has all day off is a good idea

MagpieCursedTea Tue 02-Jun-15 23:16:38

I absolutely understand why you're so angry. I would be too!
However, if you normally have a good relationship with DP and he doesn't have form for this sort of thing, then I would give him a chance to explain.

Maybe your MIL wasn't available but he was worried that you wouldn't want his friend to take care of your baby so thought it was better not to tell you so he didn't stress you out? I'm not saying it was the right thing to do, but his intentions may have been good, however misguided his actions were.

I hope you feel better soon thanks

MissFruits Tue 02-Jun-15 23:19:41

I hope that is the answer too. Thank you

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