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Adults dating teens

(178 Posts)
loupylou2u Sat 30-May-15 20:29:39

What are your thoughts?

My daughter has just turned 16, she's dating a 35 year old man.

MistressMerryWeather Sat 30-May-15 20:32:50

I wouldn't be happy, what does a 35 year old man have in common with a 16 year old girl?

How did they meet?

Olivo Sat 30-May-15 20:33:28

I would be worried, but only based on what I was like at 16. Too immature for a relationship.

Lilybensmum1 Sat 30-May-15 20:34:28

More importantly what are your thoughts? Not sure I would be happy if it was my dd but then I don't know the details. However 35 is a proper adult when I read the title I thought oh that will be a 16 year old and a 20 year old!

Pixa Sat 30-May-15 20:36:21

Wow, I thought it would be something similar to my story. I was 19 when I started dating now DH, who was 29.

What are your thoughts? I think for me, personally, that would be an age gap too big. With my age gap, it helped when my mum met him... Don't know if that's an option?

Rebecca2014 Sat 30-May-15 20:37:24

No I would not be happy at all if that was my daughter. The problem is if you condemn their relatimship it will most likely push her towards him even more, you need to be careful how you play this.

Fairylea Sat 30-May-15 20:38:47

Wow that's weird ... 16 is still a child. To me anyway. I thought you were going to say 17 and 22 or something.

Yeesss Sat 30-May-15 20:40:43

Not acceptable. They have nothing I common and, whilst legal, a year ago it would not have been and we'd all be calling him a pervert or worse. I say this as someone who is happily married to someone 19 years older than me but we met when I was 35 which is rather different.

If this was my DD I would be putting at stop to it one way or another.

6LittleOnes Sat 30-May-15 20:41:12

The age gap wouldn't worry me, dh is 17 years older than me, so how I felt would really depend on how mature dd is.

thelonggame Sat 30-May-15 20:42:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheAwfulDaughter Sat 30-May-15 20:42:49

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ClareAbshire Sat 30-May-15 20:44:50

Whilst the age gap of that size may not be a problem in five, ten years it most certainly is now. I wouldn't be happy in your position and would certainly wonder what the man was playing at.

Kvetch15 Sat 30-May-15 20:45:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rosieliveson Sat 30-May-15 20:45:50

To me, I can't see how the dynamics of this relationship could work. Most adults by 35, have had some experience in relationships, discovered love and respect are not the same as infatuation. They have had break ups and realised that it is not the end of the world etc etc etc. At 16, most children do not have these experiences and IMO do not have the emotional maturity for a stable relationship with an adult.
I don't know what you could possible do about it other than smother it in your blessing and hope your dd was hoping for something a bit more rebellious.

whatlifestylechoice Sat 30-May-15 20:46:42

I dated a 32-year-old when I was sixteen. I quickly realized that he was an emotionally-stunted dirty old perv. So glad I did not lose my virginity to him.
If a daughter of mine did the same thing, I would be very unimpressed (with him, rather than her).

TheAwfulDaughter Sat 30-May-15 20:46:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mrstweefromtweesville Sat 30-May-15 20:47:05

How is this happening? Why are you condoning it?

expatinscotland Sat 30-May-15 20:48:57

Far too great a gap at that age. Yuk.

purplemurple1 Sat 30-May-15 20:50:18

At 16 I dated a guy of 32 and tbh my mums best response was to leave me to it but to ask me to think about why he was still acting like a 16 yr old and where did I see it going, I was still growing up he was stuck acting like a teenager his whole life.

If it were my kid I'm not sure I'd be so calm about it!

trice Sat 30-May-15 20:51:51

Where does he work? Do they know he dates children?

DialsMavis Sat 30-May-15 20:53:57

Not acceptable in anyway. I could sort of see the argument of not pushing her away and towards him if he was early 20s, but 35, absolutely not. You need to stop this however you can. He is old enough to be her father. Is this even true?

UterusUterusGhali Sat 30-May-15 20:55:32

Christ no!
No no no!

When you were 35 would you have dated a 16yo? Even an 18yo, allowing for girl's maturity?

Let's face it, as lovely as your dd surely is, he doesn't want her for her witty repartee and shared interests, does he?

LaurieFairyCake Sat 30-May-15 20:58:20

Well you stop it obviously hmm

LaurieFairyCake Sat 30-May-15 21:02:15

You posted about worrying about this before?

Your daughters joined a club and you worried one of the older leaders/mentor was perving on her?

SakuraSakura Sat 30-May-15 21:07:55

So wrong! I'm 31 and I wouldn't consider dating anyone 25 or under. 16? She is a child! There is something wrong with this man, it is not normal or acceptable. I would move heaven and earth to stop this.

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