We had window cleaners. A new firm.
On their first visit they knocked a large heavy glass animal feedbottle (which was on a pen) and smashed it. They said nothing and didn't attempt to clear it up but left shards of glass everywhere. I noticed as I paid and they admitted it. I asked to dock a bit of the money and the lad said he'd 'speak to the boss'. Nothing came of it and over the next two visits they trampled the flower bed and leaned their ladders against the car so I cancelled further visits. They have come knocking the last 3 months and I have repeated the 'not wanted' each time.
today the boss knocks on the door - 'do you want your windows done'. So I say: 'no, not for last 3 months'. He then says: 'where is my money - you owe me £20 from 3 months ago and you have been asked 3 times and had excuses'. I said I had not. He said he had spoken to H and I should text him. I explained he is not contactable at work but I would speak to him tonight and he said he'd come back tomorrow.
I txt H but no reply. I ask him when he comes home and he says: 'they didn't speak to me'.
Then the window cleaners lad comes round. 'Where is the money'? I go through it with him, say I don't think we owe it as no requests or card left in postbox etc but I don't want a fight so I find my purse which has £10 in. I am not going out as I have sick child at home. So I offer him the £10, explain about the glass water feedbottle and say: 'so is that okay?'. He says yes.
10 mins later the boss comes round: 'what the feck is this?' waving the £10 at me. I explain and he says: hamster bottles are made of plastic and cost a quid. I say: it isn't a hamster and it is glass with a special holder, see here is the replacement and I fetch it and show him. He ignores me. Then he says they didn't break it anyway. I say they did and explain again. I say: 'also the flower bed and the ladders against the car'. He gets really angry and says, in my face: 'you are talking shite, you bitch' and kicks the gate really hard as he storms off.
Child inside hears him shouting.
H comes back 5m later. I tell him of altercation. He says: 'well there was £20 pinned up for about 2 weeks for the window cleaner, months ago.' I say: but you paid them that didn't you? - it's gone? He says: nothing to do with me, your job'. I say: why didn't you say this earlier? He says: you didn't ask. I am feeling quite upset by his 'nowt to do with me' approach and say I feel sad that he doesn't seem to care that I felt frightened by the window man.
He says: well, I'm not getting involved, what do you want me to do, punch him??? I say, no, of course not, but you could telephone or write. He says: 'no point, its over now' and starts storming around the kitchen. He bumps his head on a wall unit door which I inadvertently left open. It was not a hard bump but I expect it gave him a shock. He slams it with force, screams at me that: 'it is all your fault. you always always make trouble' and storms off. This is his default response to feeling 'under pressure'.
Sometimes if I handle it VERY carefully and he doesn't feel he has to DO anything, he can be okay (ish) but I tiptoe around this, all the time.
I am now supposed to cook the tea and not upset anyone.
But I feel upset.
I know this isn't AIBU but am I?
Maybe I did make a mistake about the window cleaner?
Maybe I shouldn't have implied H should phone or write to protest at the window guy's approach.
I knew he wouldn't but I did want need him to show some concern.
I have experience of a very violent man as a child and I get scared quite easily. H knows that.
(if you think I'm being a twit, please be kind about it).
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I am shaking.... (long, sorry)
iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 28/05/2015 17:55
You poor thing!! You are most certainly not a twit, and it sounds like your husband has dented your self esteem, tbh. 
you shouldn't be tiptoeing around someone who is supposed to love you.
Oh what a time of it. Yes I do think you have to get out of there as your username suggests.
This is his default response to feeling 'under pressure'.
Sometimes if I handle it VERY carefully and he doesn't feel he has to DO anything, he can be okay (ish) but I tiptoe around this, all the time. This isn't an okay way to have to live your life. Please think about your future, what do you want?
The asshat window men? call the police. Ignorant effers just trying to scare you.
and for you.
The window cleaners were rude, unprofessional and intimidating. But they've gone, and if they come back don't answer.
The bigger problem here I think I your husband...he sounds horrible.
My DH would have gone mad at someone treating me like that in my own home...I'm sorry he was less than supportive when you were scared and upset.
The window cleaner and your husband both sound complete and utter wankers. 
Hopefully that will be the last you see of the window cleaner and his shoddy service.
As for your husband, he is a pathetic wimp and sounds to me like he shat himself when you told him what had happened incase you wanted him to actually stand up for you. (I had an ex like that).
He knows most husbands would be furious with their wife being spoken to like that and was too frightened to even pick the phone up.
I wouldn't be making his tea tonight, the bellend, I would open the wine and have a nice long bath and leave him and his bumped head to make his own bloody tea. 
Fucking hell 
The window cleaner sounds like an utter cunt, a misogynistic twat who should be reported to 101.
Your "D"H - wow. He sounds like a complete arsehole. You have to tiptoe around him? That's not a partnership, that's a bloody sentence 
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