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Domestic murder/abuse statistics??

(13 Posts)
fruitandbarley Tue 26-May-15 01:37:25

Hi,
Me and my husband have been having a conversation this evening about how is the best way to protect our daughter from domestic abuse, and although we both agree that giving her self confidence and a sense of boundaries and self worth are very important, my husband seems to think money comes into the equation. In that women that have money have more options to leave, will do.
Can I please ask whether anyone who has experience in this area thinks this to be true??

fruitandbarley Tue 26-May-15 01:42:41

Oh, just to add, I have tried to Google statistics but can't find anything.

Arsenic Tue 26-May-15 01:50:03

Yes, I have experience and yes, I think that is very astute of your DH.

If I attempted to quantify I would say lack of funds delayed my departure by about two years.

But ExH actively sought to dprive me of funds and anything that could be used to raise any, so I would add the rider that the nature/location/security of the money is key.

Arsenic Tue 26-May-15 01:51:54

(Try the search term 'financial abuse' plus something about departure or leaving or splitting or 'fleeing' and see what that throws up)

fruitandbarley Tue 26-May-15 01:56:58

Thank you, not being very well off ourselves, all this is very interesting. I know that being from a poorer back ground dosnt mean you'll end up putting up with abuse, but after our discussion this evening I'm quite interested in the background/statistics of domestic violence/abuse.
Thanks x

Arsenic Tue 26-May-15 02:21:17

Yes, if you're looking at it at research/policy level (or indeed indiv), it isn't about h/hold income & assets at all. It's about who has control of which money.

kickassangel Tue 26-May-15 02:36:40

Domestic abuse isn't exclusive to one economic group or another, in fact there are many women in wealthy households who cannot/do not leave. Often the mental abuse and control are so ingrained, that even if a woman could walk out the door, and then claim 50% of the marital assets, they stay because they feel they can't leave.

Having a 'run away' fund, which the DH doesn't even know about or is able to access, family that will provide shelter and support, the confidence to see that she is in the right, and the abuser is wrong, those things will all be very important.

And yes, many women have their access to money restricted, so that they aren't able even to get on a bus and walk away.

The World Health Organization WHO, has quite a lot of info about the consequences of abuse for victims, and poverty is a key factor.

GrinAndTonic Tue 26-May-15 02:50:25

One quick example is that here in Australia, with a population of 21 million, there have been 39 women murdered by their current or ex partners since January 1st.
I wonder what the number is in the UK?

fiveacres Tue 26-May-15 06:43:03

Your husband is quite right.

'LTB' - I sometimes do sense some people expect that to be immediate. With no money for a taxi or a hotel or means of survival afterwards, that is intimidating.

A tremendous amount of guilt re children is often felt: expecting them to adapt to a frugal lifestyle is often difficult.

I think one of the well known country singers in the US might have spoken out about this before (Loretta Lynn possibly) - I will have a look.

UterusUterusGhali Tue 26-May-15 07:38:01

In this country, Grin, (uk) two women a week are killed by their partner or ex partner.

fruitandbarley Tue 26-May-15 07:38:17

Thank you all.

Athenaviolet Tue 26-May-15 07:47:25

Informing her of the 'red flags' that come up before abuse starts is a good way of preventing her getting into that scenario.

I don't think you can ever completely prevent falling into an abusive relationship. It can literally happen to anyone.

You and she needs to be aware of the non violent aspects of abuse that often lay the ground for physical abuse.

Things like always making sure she has her own bank account with her money paid into that. And having her name on rent/mortgage.

GrinAndTonic Tue 26-May-15 08:06:43

uterus I'm sure the deaths per capita is similar. Violence has no geographical boundaries, that's the point I was trying to make, albeit badly. The reason I posted the number is that it just popped into my news feed.

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