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Online Dating....and making more friends

(4 Posts)
officeworker Sat 23-May-15 19:42:45

Hey all,

It's been a fair while since I've posted in here! I do want to say thanks to everyone's advice on things I am moving on, six months in and my life is so much better. I can go to places we went to together and hardly think about it, I can enjoy myself and most of all I'm actually smiling!

It brings me to what's going on now with me. I signed up to Tinder and PlentyOfFish, and to be fair they're ok. I get lots of views and messages and matches on Tinder and it's nice that people find me attractive enough to want to talk to me. In the same breath, I feel I'm leading those people on!

One person, we started messaging and inbetween lots of random conversation I got a message about doing something or visiting. And I'm just not up for that. So I told him straight that the reason I'm on there is really just to chat. He took it well, I gave him his get out and told him he didn't have to message me but has it in his head he'll change my mind. But you know when you just know? I feel that's how I am at the moment, just waiting for someone to message and take my mind away from everything else which is a horrible way to be. These poor folk are messaging me expecting the end product of a relationship and that's the last thing I want. I feel like I'm turning into a married man on a dating website looking for people to make me feel good! I have talked to someone before and then told a friend, I want to meet him, and then just backed out of suggesting it when I thought about my ex and doing our things with someone new!

Coupled with I started at tennis again (yey!) and on the first visit met a girl who has just moved to the area, few friends. And now we text, we see each other socially and honestly have the best time together. I've never know really what it's like to have a friend like that! Maybe that's what I just want though? Someone to pick me up when I'm down and make me feel the way she does when we have fun together and do stuff. Dredging the internet for an ego boost maybe isn't the way to go about it.

I know I need to make new friends, more like the tennis girl. And it's always nice to have conversations with people and stuff. To be fair I don't even know what I'm writing, just trying to get down how I feel. It doesn't make any sense, pretty much like me at the moment!

TokenGinger Sat 23-May-15 20:18:09

Well, I guess you are leading people on if you're signed up to a dating website and don't want to date.

Sign up to City Socialising and other meet up groups and make friends that way.

pocketsaviour Sat 23-May-15 21:21:52

Agree with Ginger. Also try meetup.com.

It's a good thing to know you're not ready to date again yet, but yes you are being a bit of a tease!

SomebodysRealName Sun 24-May-15 06:50:40

I guess I'm sort of in the same boat, I'm signing up to dating sites because I'm bored and have no one to go out with. It's not that I don't want a relationship (although like you OP, I'd prefer a female friend to socialise with) but with only one weekday evening and a few hours on a Saturday afternoon off from DC per week and working full time, there's no real prospect of anything developing, so really it's a waste of everyone's time.

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