Maybe I'm not marriage material. Maybe I don't have the long haul in me. But good grief I get so burnt out on my marriage. All I do is wash, cook, clean, take up cups of tea to man at desk, take down dishes from man desk to sink, hoover under feet whilst man watches telly, deal with kids entirely. I think we speak for about 5 minutes a day, DH and I. Please don't judge. My next comment will be scoffed at, but I get palpitations the pressure of being a wife feels that huge at times. I don't drive. So the school run is 45 minute walk each way, up stairs and over bridges with a buggy. It's exhausting. Then of course home is filled to the brim with just managing life stuff. I just never stop. And all this is normal and everyone does it. I'm not alone and I know I sound pathetic and precious. But I get pissed off, packing up our suitcases for holiday while my husband just surfs the net and does nothing... ever. He goes from the computer to bed to the couch to the bed and we hardly speak. We get along well enough but to be honest, I find myself avoiding him because I feel so stressed around him. When he does speak he's always demanding something, or nagging me or our teenage son. He starts off every morning shouting at our eldest while he's getting ready for school and our eldest is a really nice kid. He really doesn't cause much grief at all. He's DH's step son so there's lots of resentment on DH's part. We don't talk about it and DS has learned to deal with it as best he can. DH works hard and earns well. So there's this silent agreement that because I depend on him financially and thanks to him we all have a roof over our heads, I do all the housework/physical/personal management stuff. For the most part it's ok... on the surface. But I build up this resentment and wonder really, does motherhood/marriage have to be so fecking old fashioned? I know, I know. I am a SAHM mother of 3 (2 in school). And actually I love my motherhood role.I just hate the regime aspect of everything. We can't play boardgames at night because it's ALL about getting the kids in bed, keeping them out of my husband's way. He's nice to them, not so nice to our teen, but he's ok. He blows hot and cold my DH. He works hard and I appreciate this. But I feel so under the gun all the time. The idea of him going off on a holiday alone sounds like bliss. In two weeks, he is spending a day and a half up North for a conference and I CAN'T WAIT? What's wrong with me??? 
I just want to feel glad to be here but often I feel a little low and sluggish, not overtly down but kind of... lonely.
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What is the matter with me???
ChatanougatChewChew22 · 23/05/2015 14:10
He's DH's step son so there's lots of resentment on DH's part. We don't talk about it and DS has learned to deal with it as best he can.
Resentment? Why? You make it sound like it's a given that your H should be resentful of a child because he isn't biologically his 
Sounds like a very un-loving home to me. Time to put your DC's and your happiness above the financial security. Your OP doesn't mention a single positive about this man other than the fact he earns well. Sad.
Oh bless your poor son. He is being emotionally damaged by this bully of a man
Two questions I have is:
Is there medical reason that you don't drive?
Why is your son having to live in the house where he feels he has to deal with resentment of his step father.
Why do you feel you have to walk on egg shells in your own house?
(OK 3 
)
You poor thing 
I kind of had this situation, my exP constantly put down my two kids (not his), if they were sat on the floor he'd tell them to get on the sofa, if they were sat on the sofa he'd tell them to get on the floor They were whipping boys for his bad moods (not his fault of course, he'd had a hard day at work ...) and anything broken/misplaced MUST have been their doing. When I saw my kids emulating my 'walking on eggshells' behaviour, the confusion in their eyes every day at being castigated for every damn thing, their shoulders slumping and heads going down, I grew some balls and told him to fuck off out of our lives 
His parting shot was that my kids weren't good enough for him. I roared 
Get him/yourself out of there before he does real emotional damage to your lovely lad. I doubt there is much point in talking further to him as you've intimated that he just turns everything back on to it being your problem. These sorts of self-centred assholes do not change. Good luck, you sound like a lively mum - turn all your lives around x
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