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Are you becoming more difficult as you get older?

(32 Posts)
halfmoonpose Thu 21-May-15 13:17:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

halfmoonpose Thu 21-May-15 13:18:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EquityDarling Thu 21-May-15 13:20:22

Definitely true for me! Mainly at work - I am still nice to junior people but I am increasingly unable to be polite to senior people who I think are bullies (or even just arrogant and incompetent)

Tequilashotsfor1 Thu 21-May-15 13:22:41

Your bullshit threshhold has lowered.

So has mine.

I'm not nasty about it. I just don't allow it

was a massive pushover when younger

Shakey1500 Thu 21-May-15 13:23:05

I think it is a coming of age thing smile I'm 45 also and am exactly the same. It was like a lightbulb moment. I just thought one day, why am I bothering being nice to people I don't even like. I'm never rude per se, just more comfortable saying no. It's very liberating grin

blueshoes Thu 21-May-15 13:23:13

Yes, grumpier

pocketsaviour Thu 21-May-15 13:24:40

I am the same way. I think it's just part of getting older and learning to be more assertive and to not put up with bullshit.

At the same time I have learned a lot of techniques over the decades about working with people who I don't personally like. I am more confident now in working out how to best approach them to get the best out of them, whereas in the past I might have just avoided them. But I'm also much more confident about putting my foot down and saying "You're taking the piss!"

rembrandtsrockchick Thu 21-May-15 13:32:27

Yes, I bloody well am.

No more Mrs Nice Guy!

Hoppinggreen Thu 21-May-15 14:13:13

I'm more mellow in some ways - things that used to be important aren't any more.
I no longer care what people think so much now though.

TheVeryHungryPreggo Thu 21-May-15 14:36:07

Maybe I am. DH certainly is!

I'm less inclined to take bullshit, but tbh I so rarely see it I don't often have a chance to push back against it - maybe I have such a serious case of Bitchy Resting Face that people just don't try it with me these days!

Lipgloss74 Thu 21-May-15 14:40:37

I have totally changed as I get older and like you don't tolerate Certain people or situations as well as I used to, and I'm more inclined to stick up for myself now.
I have a feeling it's called 'Growing a pair' grin

Drew64 Thu 21-May-15 15:05:36

Great thread...

I'm 51 this year and I'm joking that I'm in training to become old and cantakerous...the training is going well, lol

A collegue at work was being very assertive about me doing some work for him but I had other priorities. He is more senior than me and was being assertive to the point of being rude at which point I told him (I didn't ask) that if he carried on talking to me in that manner he should go away and come back with a clamer attitude...he went away, lol

Yes I am becoming more difficult and because I know I am I tend to joke about it. I don't try to be less difficult but being able to joke about it and take the jokes back it makes it easier for those close to me

Orangeanddemons Thu 21-May-15 15:10:29

Me too. I'm just less inclined to be accommodating or to take any shit. I feel much happier for it. Basically in my 20,s and 30's I was bothered by what people thought. Now at 51, I don't give a shiney shite. I also can't even be bothered to speak to anyone who brown noses either

cosytoaster Thu 21-May-15 15:15:38

I am, late 40s and have pretty much stopped doing things to keep other people happy. I'm also much more assertive than I used to be. One of the joys of middle age grin

Skiptonlass Thu 21-May-15 15:19:45

Similar to pps above. I'm not getting more difficult but I'm certainly calmer, more assertive and better able to cope with difficult people.

Yesterday I had a meeting in which a very grumpy high profile person yelled at me for about half an hour. I dealt with him calmly with no emotion and in the end his tantrum turned to silence and sulking. Didn't bother me one bit. Younger person on call said she'd have been in years. So maybe mr. Grumpy thinks I'm difficult, but I see it as just having a stronger sense of self, more self respect and zero tolerance for people who treat others like crap.

Quite liberating isn't it ? smile

Lipgloss74 Thu 21-May-15 15:38:02

I meant to say I was a total pushover too until I hit 40 last September x

Anniegetyourgun Thu 21-May-15 15:46:27

I aspire to become more difficult. Unfortunately I don't always manage it.

Lottapianos Thu 21-May-15 15:52:51

'I seem to have less time and patience to deal with other peoples bull and I feel that I am now too long in the tooth to bend myself out of shape pleasing other people'

I have definitely become more like this too. I don't think it makes you 'difficult' though, just more likely to consider your own needs rather than pleasing other people all the time and becoming a little ball of rage as a result. Why on earth would you waste your time with someone who has been rude and snobby to you in the past? I'm sure you have much more pleasant ways of spending your time.

I think, if you're lucky, you become more sure of yourself with time, your boundaries get stronger and you get better at standing up for yourself. That can only be a good thing if you ask me! I say all this as a reformed die hard people pleaser smile

Cretaceous Thu 21-May-15 16:03:01

I just wish it hadn't taken me so long, frankly! All those wasted years of smiling and apologising.

sandgrown Thu 21-May-15 16:04:44

I am like you Drew. I told DP I was in training to be a grumpy old woman. He thinks I have got there! I stand my corner now and it's great. Mind you there was always a fiery temper under my calm exterior

halfmoonpose Thu 21-May-15 16:15:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joysmum Thu 21-May-15 16:18:35

Me too.

My attitude now is that in addition to treating others how I'd like to be treated myself (my random acts of kindness have increased), I also now EXPECT others to treat me in the way they'd like to be treated.

If not, I have the confidence to point out their failings and either they shape up or they don't get my time.

halfmoonpose Thu 21-May-15 16:21:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottapianos Thu 21-May-15 16:26:28

'I like myself now at 45 a lot more than I used to. '

Same here at 35. Its a good feeling. Bending over backwards for other people and 'keeping the peace' does your self respect no good at all.

BettyCatKitten Thu 21-May-15 21:28:57

Me too <waves>my mantra is life is too short to spend it in the company of people you don't like or who treat you with disdain. Tbh they can all just fuck off!grin

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