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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Is it better to have loved and lost...

16 replies

Hestheone · 20/05/2015 22:27

Or never to have loved at all?

I'm still struggling with an answer to this.

Thoughts?

OP posts:

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Gorgonzolacherry · 20/05/2015 23:00

Loved and lost. Definitely x

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Cabrinha · 20/05/2015 23:08

Why does it need an answer?
Serious question, not being flippant.

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OttiliaVonBCup · 20/05/2015 23:10

I think better not.
Can't miss something you don't know.

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EmilyMaitliss · 20/05/2015 23:10

Absolutely loved and lost. When the pain ends you have happy memories from the earlier, more successful part of the relationship

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Anniegetyourgun · 20/05/2015 23:11

I like the version that says "'tis better to have loved and lost, than to be stuck with the bugger the rest of your life".

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AnyFucker · 20/05/2015 23:11

It depends (matches oblique answer to op)

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NightsOfGethsemane · 20/05/2015 23:12

Do you really need an answer? Genuine question. Presumably you're pondering something that has already happened so there's not much point in dwelling on 'what ifs'.

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handfulofcottonbuds · 20/05/2015 23:14

Was it my post on another thread that prompted your question OP?

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handfulofcottonbuds · 20/05/2015 23:15

Oh and it wasn't me that said that crap statement by the way, it was my counsellor!

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FauxFox · 20/05/2015 23:20

If they die before you its better to have loved and lost, if they turn out to be an asshole it wasn't love anyway it was mistaken identity.

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LondonRocks · 20/05/2015 23:23

Not necessarily.

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VanitasVanitatum · 20/05/2015 23:26

I think faux has a point!! Totally depends on what you take away from the experience I think.

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Hestheone · 20/05/2015 23:34

Yes handful it was,just gets me every time i hear it,no matter how stupid it is,just brings it all back.

OP posts:

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handfulofcottonbuds · 21/05/2015 11:51

I don't agree with it and I'm sorry if I was flippant

I get pure, unconditional love from my DS who I know will never desert me. I try not to regret anything but sometimes I wish I hadn't loved my stbxh as it hurt too much when I lost that love.

I agree with faux

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MrsTrentReznor · 21/05/2015 11:53

My Love died. At the time I thought this phrase was bollocks and I wished we'd never met because of the pain.
Years later I look back and smile.
Definitely better to have loved and lost.