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how do I end it? any suggestions?

(4 Posts)
upthehillanddown Tue 19-May-15 06:34:19

I posted earlier about him forgetting our date. Since then hes changed another arrangement and although we have a date this evening he said "if I cant make it I will text you".
Because its been 4 years, and because I left my previous partner to be withh him, I feel as if splitting up is a massive thing, like admitting I am wrong somehow, so ive hung on for grim death even though I know it's not going to work. I have tried to end it several times but he says "you'll change your mind, we love each other" and because I am terrified of being alone and having made a wrong choice, and because I really wanted to live as a couple and do all the couply things together, I've always gone back and given in.
But now tbh the thought of being without him isnt as dreadful as it was, and I can see positives in being alone. So how do I end it without it getting horrible? He says he will be devastated if we split but then he doesnt behave as if I am a priority. Do I try to explain whats gone on for me and how I feel, or do I just fade away, not make arragements, just end it unilaterally I suppose? We've had enough upset in our time together, I dont want any more, though I have no idea how to cope with being alone after all this time.

CitySnicker Tue 19-May-15 06:36:29

Just forget to turn up. Repeatedly.

Ledkr Tue 19-May-15 06:39:19

"It's not me its you"
Can you get some counselling too? You need to look at your fear of being alone or this will keep happening.

upthehillanddown Tue 19-May-15 06:45:17

Yes, thank you. When we first got together he asked me to move in, and marry him, but it never happened, though recently he has "said I can move in". I did try counselling but I found it incredibly hard to talk about all this. I just feel like an idiot really, that I hoped for so much and believed he did too.

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