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What is a normal relationship?

(3 Posts)
tasha24x Mon 18-May-15 13:23:10

Hi, I have posted various threads on here over the months. Basically cheated on my partner (no sex involved)a few years ago & last October whilst away on holiday I told the truth as I couldnt live with the guilt. Fast forward to now...hes completely foriven me but I still struggle every few weeks or so to forgive myself & the anxiety still plays a part massively, for example i dont want to go away this year on holiday as I relate the anxious feeling to before, I dont like to be out of my comfort zone....

I wanted to ask for honest opinions, do you every worry about your relationship? Look at others who seem so perfect & worry yours is rather than realising yours if perfectly normal. I am happy in mine & we enjoy eachothers company & are both very affectionate sometimes I just worry i dont get that butterfly feeling but on the other hand I try to remember ww have been together 9 years & have a 4 year old it goes past being in love & just loving theM? I worry so much about it not working etc rather than realising It is working & ita normal?

I know i have babbled on & dont make much sense but wondered if anyone else ever worries etc about their relationship like me?

I have just joined a minfullness course to help me calm down & enjoy the life I have xxx

Momagain1 Mon 18-May-15 23:08:50

Normal.

Respectful.
Not abusive.
Not secretive.

Hard to say really. We have had times when one or the other felt wobbly. One time we were both convinced the other was about to leave. Neither had any intention, but we were both braced for it, and therefore looking standoffish and the other was even more convinced.

heyday Tue 19-May-15 07:09:57

There is no such thing as a 'normal' relationship as every one is different and we want/expect different things.
You are only human and you found another person attractive. It happens. There was no sex involved so that makes things less messy.
It can be really tough to keep long term relationships alive. They do quite often get a bit tedious and the thrill can wane. That is fairly normal of most relationships. I do suggest that you try some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to help you change your thought processes. Hopefully the mindfulness course will help.
You have both decided to put this episode behind you so it's time to lay it to rest and spend your time and energy on enjoying the moment rather than looking back to the past. Whatever happened has gone now, don't dwell on it. Live for the here and now.

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