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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

feel I am being lied too

15 replies

IreallyKNOWiamright · 18/05/2015 13:10

A few weeks ago, on a sunday evening over dinner, my dh's work phone rang around 7.30. He looked alarmed and he didn't answer it.
I said shall I get it for you, because of the look on his face, and he got annoyed with me.
Fast forward a few weeks, I grow more sus for various reasons.
Then I notice, today he left his work mob at home so I know I know I had a snoop.
NOT to my surprise, there was a call from a certain mobile number under 'unknown' from around april last year. He has also been going to london a lot for a work project, but always tells me he is going on his own.
I am really shocked, at reading the call log, because he has always been honest with me about things, and most of the contacts he generally uses everyday, and weekly, are under a name.
I don't know why he has this unknown number constantly ringing him always in the evening around 7.30.And rang in the evening's from 10th dec to 17th dec. He has since had more calls from the same number but not as regular. My friend said it could just be one of those calls from a call centre but I don't think so not from a mobile.
I also found in his bag this morning a contract, of some sort, for a woman that has nothing to do with his department or workplace and why was it in his bag??? I am quite worried now as - he is so cagey about his work life, shuts me out quite a lot and I am wondering if he has got himself into an emotional affair or some sort of an affair.

OP posts:

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Quitelikely · 18/05/2015 13:13

What was the contract for?

Can you call the number?

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AlternativeTentacles · 18/05/2015 13:14

What do you mean a contract?

Are there texts from that number as well as calls?

Is ther a name on the contract and can you google the person and see who they are?

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IreallyKNOWiamright · 18/05/2015 13:22

it looked like it could have been an expenses claim, but why I don't know because she has nothing to do with his work. She works another side of town for someone else.
there are no texts, just a whole load of calls to him. He is a web geek so will be clever deleting any texts/messages. Shame he forgot to delete the call logs though ;-)

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Quitelikely · 18/05/2015 13:26

If you can see her name on the contract why not search for her on linked in or FB. You may be able to google that mobile number you have and it might bring something back.

Chances are your instinct is right.

I doubt he will admit to anything. Best to turn detective whilst he doesn't suspect that your suspicious

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Fleecyleesy · 18/05/2015 13:27

Ring the number from a call box. See who answers, pretend you got the wrong number if questioned, say you wanted to speak to Sarah (or other popular name).

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IreallyKNOWiamright · 18/05/2015 13:29

yes, my friend said to get a voice recorder and when I am out in the evenings if this person is phoning him while I am out, I can record the conversation, and the days he has the car as he has been asking for that more too. I tried searching her on FB and can't find her on twitter anymore. IT could be she has blocked me if she is up to something with him.

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IreallyKNOWiamright · 18/05/2015 13:48

thank god I found out on line that it is to do with the voicemail on his phone letting him know about his voicemails he hasn't listened too.
I typed in the number on google and that is what came up.
It still doesn't explain the form though in his bag :(

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Partyringer · 18/05/2015 13:51

I think you're maddively over suspicious. Sorry, but I do.

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BitOutOfPractice · 18/05/2015 13:55

So it was his voicemail number?! Oh OP you narna!

There are a million reasons why he might have a form for someone from another company - it's a client, supplier, potential employee, agency, etc etc etc

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Fudgeface123 · 18/05/2015 13:57

Voicemail number wouldn't come up as unknown though would it?

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BitOutOfPractice · 18/05/2015 14:00

It didn't come up unknown - it was a number that came up in an "unknown" file - well that's how I read it

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IreallyKNOWiamright · 18/05/2015 14:06

oh yes - that's true -
now- totally-confused.
I get suspicious because he is so cagey and doesn't involve me or talk to me about work. It makes me feel like he has 'another life' and wants to shut me away from it.

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goddessofsmallthings · 18/05/2015 19:08

Has he always been cagey about his work? If not, when did he start shutting you away from it?

Does he shut you away from other areas such as finances, his relationships with his friends etc?

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2rebecca · 18/05/2015 19:15

I don't talk to my husband much about work as I have enough work at work. my husband is under official secrets legislation so he doesn't discuss his work much either.
Some people love talking for hours about their jobs others are happy to leave the work at work unless they have stuff to study and finish off at home.
Do you need a job?

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IreallyKNOWiamright · 18/05/2015 19:22

I think as 2rebecca says he is happy to leave the work at work.
I am used to coming from a family where my dad would come home and offload for an hour! So, it's kind of still can't quite get used to it he doesn't want to talk about it.
I can't work, for personal reasons. Or would have had a part time job/career years ago!
He hasn't been as cagey as he has been the last year.He hasn't even taken me to work do's for couple of years either and I find that odd.!