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is this trivial

(19 Posts)
upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 19:35:18

I just dont trust myself any more to make a proper assessment ax to whether im overreacting. DP and I have been together 4 years, ups and downs, but generally ok. I work, he doesnt. Weve had lots of upsets about him not prioritising time with me at the weekend, I feel he should as he has all week to do his own stuff. Yesterday he suggested the cinema tonight, he was out with a sport thing all day. I got ready but he still hadnt rung texted or turned up by the time we had to leave. He called half an hour later, admitted hes forgotten our date, and seemed surprised I was so upsst. I just feel a fool for hsving looked forward to it when it didnt even figure in his day IYSWIM.

He often tells me im too sensitive or overreacting, so I just dont know now if im being unreasonable as I didnt want to either rush out and miss the first bit of the film, or just go n have a drink or something. I feel like a sort of last resort. Sorry am not beung v clear, just feel so stressed.

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 19:36:12

Should have said we dont live together so date time ix precious. To me anyway. sad

AltheaVestrit Sat 16-May-15 19:39:39

No, it's not trivial. He's showing you where you stand in his scheme of things.

What are you going to do about it?

Quitelikely Sat 16-May-15 19:40:56

Why does he not work?

handfulofcottonbuds Sat 16-May-15 19:41:14

Not trivial at all.

If he called 30 minutes later saying he forgot about your date, did he suggest doing something else tonight with you?

brunette123 Sat 16-May-15 19:41:48

He forgot you and even had the nerve to admit it - not even try a lie???? Sorry but no one deserves to be forgotten. You are not overreacting and he is bang out of line trying to blame you for being oversensitive. He has disrepected you and also your Saturday and left you in the lurch and unable to arrange something with your friends instead whilst he is probably having a drink or two with his sporty mates.
So sorry. It's him not you xxxx

brunette123 Sat 16-May-15 19:43:20

Why not try it on him and then tell him he is being oversensitive - ideally arrange to meet him somewhere and then forget once he is waiting there preferably in the rain!

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 19:50:24

I havent got the strength to do that, brunette, but it did make me smile. Just feel a fool that I went throught the day gardening and tidying and listening to the radio, looking forward to tonight, and he'd forgotten. It isnt the film, it's being nowhere near a priority for him. I cant deny it now can I, he just doesnt give a toss sad

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 19:53:15

Quitelikely, he has his own business it does well but his son does most of ghe work now so he is semi retired really.

CalleighDoodle Sat 16-May-15 19:55:11

No he Doesnt. Dont waste another day on him c

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 19:56:37

We've had some rough times but I thought we'd settled, were talking about me moving in with him next year. For some reason now when I look back it looks like its always been me doing the work. He says he isnt very organised and I expect too muuch.

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 19:58:16

Is expecting DP to look forward to a date unreasonable. Im cringing bcos thats what he says. Apparently im unreasonable, too sensitive and I overreact.

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 20:00:24

I just feel stupid and tired and Im going to go and change back into my trackies and take my makeup off and have a drink on my own. Sad old cow I am sad

brunette123 Sat 16-May-15 20:03:02

Upthehill I have been out with guys who have said that too - it is said to deflect the blame - don't let your DP do this to you - it is not oversensitive to be upset when you have been let down. Do not for one moment even consider that it is you. It isn't. You have a tough choice to make but if you back down, he will know that ok you will have a moan perhaps, but fundamentally you won't do anything about his behaviour - it will happen again - I think you know that. I could never forget a date! He is either lying or he did forget you - either way it is no good for you!

Cherryapple1 Sat 16-May-15 20:13:25

so he treats you badly and when you call him on it he says you are being too sensitive. Blimey - he has got you convinced doesn't he. It's not you, it's him. You deserve so much more than a few crumbs and lots of put downs.

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 20:39:44

He came round and said dont be silly, we could still have gone out, I just forgot, youre overreacting, I cant guarantee it wont happen again. I told him I wantec to reconsider our relationship because iam really hurt and upset. He has gone away, I said dont come back unless you have really thought about how crap that was and are prepared to try to make it right. I only said that though because I cant face saying we're over. It isnt going to be right is it. Not even if he came back with flowers, and sang me a song. He forgot we had arranged a date, and he even tried to say "it wasnt defunitely agreed, we hadnt fixed it" which is crap. I even spent time looking the bl**dy film up on imdb to see who was in it.

Stubbed Sat 16-May-15 20:47:18

It's it trivial but I think I would have been tempted to go on my own after he forgot. Or invite a girlfriend out for the night. You might find its more fun...

Stubbed Sat 16-May-15 20:47:47

It isn't trivial, that should be

upthehillanddown Sat 16-May-15 20:49:30

I was tempted actually but I just feel too crap. Id rather have an early night and hope I feel better tomorrow.

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