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Friend has to become best mates with everyone else I am friends with.

(13 Posts)
Mickeymoodles Fri 15-May-15 16:43:50

My friend keeps doing this repeatedly and it is really starting to annoy me.

I wouldn't mind as much if the other person stayed friends with me but they don't; my friend claims them as her best friend for a while and I get ignored and dumped.

A few months ago a new neighbour moved in next door to me and she and I have become friendly. Other friend has seemingly deliberately set out to become best friends with her and now once again I am excluded. Tonight they are having a night out and I'm not invited, and my new neighbour/friend never has time for me anymore.

How can I put a stop to this?

Quitelikely Fri 15-May-15 16:47:26

Do you think she is telling these friends lies about you?

Don't introduce her to anyone else.

Can't you just ask outright why you aren't invited?

Mickeymoodles Fri 15-May-15 16:49:34

I don't introduce her to them but we live in a village and our kids are all at the same school. If she clocks that I'm spending time with someone or forming any sort of friendship the next thing I know she is spending lots of time with them and I'm out in the cold.

I don't think she is necessarily telling them lies, I think she's just very full on and forces herself on people. Her friendships don't last thought; she moves onto a new best friend but keeps each one on the periphery.

Quitelikely Fri 15-May-15 16:52:06

How about taking a leaf out of her book, going to see your neighbour right now and asking if she minds of you come along?

You've got nothing to lose

Kajamite Fri 15-May-15 16:57:36

Show up at the neighbour's door in your gladrags and say 'So where are we going then?'

Seriously though I had a friend that did this She ended up cutting ME out in the end but it turned out that she was incredibly lonely and thought multiple 'best friends' would fill some sort of void.

Is it an option to have a chat with her and find out what's going on?

bigbuttons Fri 15-May-15 16:58:48

why are you calling this woman your friend? Sounds like she is out to make your life a misery.

Jan45 Fri 15-May-15 16:59:21

Neither of them sound like friends tbh!

GoatsDoRoam Fri 15-May-15 17:04:23

I don't think you can stop it happening, as you can't stop PushyFriend from doing whatever the hell she likes, and you can't stop NewFriends from being taken in by her charms, at least at first.

Just keep your own friendships going with the people you truly like. They may go through a period of being starstruck by PushyFriend, but as you say that never lasts, so... just wait it out, and build the relationships with them that you want to have with them.

If they have less time for you on those occasions when they're going out with PushyFriend, just accept it as them being unavailable that particular night. (even though it is a bit galling!)

AccordingtoMe Fri 15-May-15 18:23:42

Ive seen a terminology on MN called "wendied" I think this is happening here, search that on the site and you will see loads of threads similar Op

Its shit sad

TheRealMaryMillington Fri 15-May-15 18:26:54

Does she maintain all these friendships?

It's not going to be about you, it's about her and her insecurities. She'll be doing it all over the place.

I would re-hook up with some of those she will have had had to dump in order to inveigle her way in to new friendships.

(PS she'll get hers, people like that always do, eventually)

TheRealMaryMillington Fri 15-May-15 18:29:42

Also, just keep being who you are, if people liked you they still will. Your relationship with other people is entirely separate to their relationship to each other.
Never, ever say anything mean about her.
I suspect her relationship with everyone else will be similar to the one you have with her. Are you "on her periphery" . Who brought you to her attention?

Stormtreader Mon 18-May-15 17:15:25

Sounds like shes a Wendy
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1835978-to-ask-what-a-Wendy-is

CharlesRyder Mon 18-May-15 17:51:00

You do indeed have yourself a Wendy.

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